Loss and Grief

In 1994 and 1995 I experienced a series of losses that almost led to the loss of my life. Thanks to God's interventions I survived and now I thrive because He lifted me up and healed my soul. In 1989 I left my very secure position at College Hill Presbyterian after 16 wonderful years of being loved and supported by my colleagues, the Elders and the congregation.

I had a strong call from God to start a psychiatric hospital and outpatient clinic so we resigned and began a difficult career switch. A few years later I had to leave the ministry I had founded in 1978 to take our training to the world and my mother died during the same period. I was devastated, depressed and desperate. To add insult to injury I suffered a severe heart ailment and had to take a medical leave.

As we drove from the funeral parlor to my home church for the memorial service I experienced a deep pain so severe that I doubted I could stand it. I silently cried out to God and asked for relief from all that loss. At that moment He spoke to my heart and told me to look at the new baby boy Jacob born to my daughter and son-in-law 10 months earlier.

I heard a strong message from the Holy Spirit to look to the future not to the past. The future is in Jacob and children such as he. I knew at that instant that my life of ministry was far from over for the generation of Jacob was in desperate need of older and more experienced Christian leaders. I felt sure I had a legacy in Jacob and his progeny. I was renewed in my soul.

I walked over to the car they were in and took Jacob in my arms and carried him into the service where Mother was ulogized. I held him tightly as the pastor shared about her life of love and Christian compassion. I let her go as I held him in my arms.

Today we celebrated 11 years with Jacob. He was born on my parent's anniversary of March 4 so I will never forget how God provided a replacement for my grief at just the right time.

House Church

Back in 1970 Karen and I were surprised by the Lord when we found ourselves removed from the southern Baptist Church we found after moving here from Illinois. We wanted to hold Bible studies and prayer meetings in homes and that approach so shocked and irritated the Pastor and Deacons that I was faced with charges of heresy and rebellion.

This was one of the most painful and discouraging moments of our lives. Both of us had been reared in Baptist churches so being put out of one was like going through a forced divorce. But God was there and He showed us a new and more exciting way of doing Christian fellowship.

After receiving that "left foot of fellowship" at Dent Baptist we stumbled into the arms and living room of a defrocked Presbyterian Pastor and family. Bob's radical antics with the Holy Spirit irritated his bosses to the point that they gave him the same treatment we received with Baptists. We felt right at home and joined in the activities with gusto.

Our spiritual growth and biblical insights during the three years we ministered exclusively through house churches were wonderful. I was working hard as an Associate Dean of Students at U. C. And at night we ministered to housholds of young men and women who were refugees from sex, drugs and rock and roll to say nothing of rebellion.

We saw God do some miraculous and wonderfully loving works and we experienced first hand what a First Century Church looked like. But the ministry was overwhelmingly difficult because so many of our "flock" were deeply troubled and we were over our heads. As a result I decided to get a doctorate in Counseling.

Now many people are writing about the "new" interest in house churches. Time Magazine has a big article that you can check out. I like the article and the attention. However, it is not a new phenomenon. Check it out.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1167737-1,00.html

Peace is Good and Good for Us

Reuters
Updated: 5:31 p.m. ET March 3, 2006

The manner in which husbands and wives argue over such hot-button topics such as money, in-laws, and children, may be a factor in their risk of developing coronary atherosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries of the heart.

In a study of 150 couples, mostly in their 60s, researchers found that women who behaved in a hostile manner during marital disputes were more likely to have atherosclerosis, especially if their husbands were also hostile.

In men, hostility -- their own or their wives -- was not related to atherosclerosis. However, men who behaved in a dominating or controlling manner -- or whose wives behaved in that way -- were more likely to have clogged coronary arteries.

Social Regression

Anxiety, worry and fears surround us on every side. Leaders in positions who were formerly trusted are so full of nervous energy and are reacting so fearfully to almost every change that hysteria reigns in politics, education, the court system, psychology and religion.

Jesus promised us His peace that surpasses all human understanding but it seems far from many Christian leaders who use their time on radio, TV and news media to pour out more and more stress filled anxiety that we leave a sermon feeling worse that when we arrived. This is tragic because Christianity becomes just one more voice of conflict among hundreds of other nervous Nellies who are shouting so loudly that the cacophony is deafening.

The following story says it all about hos much over reaction is happening among people who need to be rational, reasonable and responsible.

A student at TeWinkle Middle School in Costa Mesa, Calif., started an invidious group on the MySpace.com Web site, the Associated Press reports:

According to three parents of the suspended students, the invitation to join the boy's MySpace group gave no indication of the alleged threat. They said the MySpace social group name's was "I hate (girl's name)" and included an expletive and an anti-Semitic reference.

A later message to group members directed them to a nondescript folder, which included a posting that allegedly asked: "Who here in the (group name) wants to take a shotgun and blast her in the head over a thousand times?"

The AP says that "police are investigating the boy's comments about his classmate as a possible hate crime." The school district is also seeking to expel the boy. That's reasonable enough; it does sound like a genuine threat.

But of course that wasn't enough for school officials, who also suspended 20 students for two days simply because they saw the posting. Assistant superintendent Bob Metz "said the students' suspensions in mid-Febuary [sic] were appropriate because the incident involved student safety"--even though they logged in from home, after school hours.

Anxiety makes us stupid and this group of educators must have an extreme amount of anxiety to over react this stupidly. Because of the media's past hysteria and the ability of lawyers to sue over every small issue principals and teachers expel kids for drawing a gun let alone making a threat.

When will we as a society get tired of this hysteria and begin to think clearly?

We Will OutProduce The Left Wing

Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal

Who's Your Daddy?In the new issue of Foreign Policy magazine, Phillip Longman of the liberal New America Foundation has a fascinating essay on demographics and politics--the gist of which is that differing reproductive patterns are likely to make Western societies, including the U.S., more conservative.

Specifically, those who practice patriarchy--which Longman defines not in the crude feminist sense of men dominating women but as "a particular value system that not only requires men to marry but to marry a woman of proper station"--are outbreeding those who do not:

In the United States, . . . the percentage of women born in the late 1930s who remained childless was near 10 percent. By comparison, nearly 20 percent of women born in the late 1950s are reaching the end of their reproductive lives without having had children. The greatly expanded childless segment of contemporary society, whose members are drawn disproportionately from the feminist and countercultural movements of the 1960s and 70s, will leave no genetic legacy. Nor will their emotional or psychological influence on the next generation compare with that of their parents.

Meanwhile, single-child families are prone to extinction.

A single child replaces one of his or her parents, but not both. Nor do single-child families contribute much to future population. The 17.4 percent of baby boomer women who had only one child account for a mere 7.8 percent of children born in the next generation. By contrast, nearly a quarter of the children of baby boomers descend from the mere 11 percent of baby boomer women who had four or more children.

These circumstances are leading to the emergence of a new society whose members will disproportionately be descended from parents who rejected the social tendencies that once made childlessness and small families the norm. These values include an adherence to traditional, patriarchal religion, and a strong identification with one's own folk or nation.

This dynamic helps explain, for example, the gradual drift of American culture away from secular individualism and toward religious fundamentalism. Among states that voted for President George W. Bush in 2004, fertility rates are 12 percent higher than in states that voted for Sen. John Kerry.

This of course dovetails with the Roe effect, which surely magnifies the political consequences. Support for unrestricted abortion defines the contemporary Democratic Party more than any other issue does, and abortion advocates' open contempt toward those who disagree makes it hard for the latter to be Democrats. Longman draws a lesson from military history after the agricultural revolution:

In more and more places in the world, fast-breeding tribes morphed into nations and empires and swept away any remaining, slow-breeding hunters and gatherers. It mattered that your warriors were fierce and valiant in battle; it mattered more that there were lots of them.
That was the lesson King Pyrrhus learned in the third century B.C., when he marched his Greek armies into the Italian peninsula and tried to take on the Romans.

Pyrrhus initially prevailed at a great battle at Asculum. But it was, as they say, "a Pyrrhic victory," and Pyrrhus could only conclude that "another such victory over the Romans and we are undone." The Romans, who by then were procreating far more rapidly than were the Greeks, kept pouring in reinforcements--"as from a fountain continually flowing out of the city," the Greek historian Plutarch tells us. Hopelessly outnumbered, Pyrrhus went on to lose the war, and Greece, after falling into a long era of population decline, eventually became a looted colony of Rome.

Roe v. Wade thus may turn out to be have been a Pyrrhic victory for supporters of abortion.
Longman also rebuts the Platzer effect, the hypothesis that youthful rebellion, à la the 1960s, will counter the reproductive advantage of cultural conservatives:

The key difference is that during the post-World War II era, nearly all segments of modern societies married and had children. Some had more than others, but the disparity in family size between the religious and the secular was not so large, and childlessness was rare.

Today, by contrast, childlessness is common, and even couples who have children typically have just one. Tomorrow's children, therefore, unlike members of the postwar baby boom generation, will be for the most part descendants of a comparatively narrow and culturally conservative segment of society.

To be sure, some members of the rising generation may reject their parents' values, as always happens. But when they look around for fellow secularists and counterculturalists with whom to make common cause, they will find that most of their would-be fellow travelers were quite literally never born.

Patriarchy does not necessarily sustain itself, Longman acknowledges; both men and women may be put off by the restrictions it imposes on their freedom. Yet freedom--in this context meaning sex divorced from obligation--appears to be self-limiting, at least over a span of generations.

Have Hope and Never Die?

From the Wall Street Journal's electronic daily newsletter blog. OpinionJournal@wsj.com

"Optimism is good for the heart, a study said on Monday," reports Reuters: The most optimistic among a group of 545 Dutch men age 64 to 84 had a roughly 50 percent lower risk of cardiovascular death over 15 years of follow-up, according to the study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.

Previous research has suggested being optimistic boosts overall physical health and lowers the risk of death from all causes."

HOPE: This is one reason why Christians live longer, healthier, happier lives.

It doesn't seem fair, does it? We live better lives while we are here on earth and then we get to live forever with Christ in Heaven after our bodies wear out. Wow! All that and heaven too.

Faith, hope and love remain. I CO 13

Respect From a Teacher

An older classmate from Mt. Vernon Twp High School in Illinois, Bob Wood, Sent me this little story. I hope you enjoy it.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an ex cellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.

But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Who was your most Respectful teacher?

Respect

I am sure many of you remember the great song by Aretha Franklin called, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! During my doctoral studies I discovered that offering Respect and Understanding to a person in need is worth all the knowledge I gained in graduate school about counseling.

It isn't that research about how the mind works and the ways people respond to a stimulus are not important, they are. It is just that any of that technical information is nearly worthless if it is not done with love. (I CO 13)

Many years ago I visited an old friend who was languishing in the hospital with inoperable cancer. As I stood at her door waiting for an opportunity to knock, I could hear her raspy voice barely rising above the air conditioner. She sounded bad.

Yet, when I walked in to her room, and said in a warm voice, "Hello Irene! It is so good to see you," she brightened up and said in a strong voice, "Gary Sweeten, you old dear. You are a sight for sore eyes!"

I respected Irene and indicated my love to her and it made a difference. I had no magic potion or medical answer to her problems but I had the presence of God. I was the Holy Spirit with skin.

The world is desperately in need of God's people who will live with respect and love. We are in a seriously regressing society that is trying to emulate Russia's failed experiments as fast as we can. Our culture needs more love, more respect, more warmth; we do not need increased criticism, increased anger and increased anxiety.

Wherever you work and play try to take the joy of the Lord and spread it around. It is good for you and good for the culture. Try it!

The Loss of our Culture

The Soviet Union's vicious and evil empire was not just a threat to the world it was even a greater threat to its own people. Millions were killed by various purges in order to keep the people in chronic fear.

The pain and evil committed in one generation is passed tsunami-like to future generations. Just think what chaos the murder of 30 to 50 million people has left for Christians to pick up currently. Alcohol, drugs, divorce, abortion, callous behavior, crude family life all exemplify modern Russia. It will likely take many years to bring even small cultural changes.

Unfortunately, the USA seems bent on a path of similar destruction. We have almost no memory about the things that made us healthy, wealthy and wise. We are seeing a rebellious and angry reaction to everything godly, caring and upbuilding.

The only hope is in God and His churches around the USA and Russia. We desperately need healthy families but a family cannot be healthy without a supportive environment in the church.

We need to share the good news and then build a strong, loving community based on God's Word. It is possible and God is on the move in many places.

Keep truckin as the kids said in the Seventies. It means we ought not give up.

Family Around the World

Karen and I are very blessed to have both of our children, Julia Knispel and Timothy Sweeten living in this area with their spice and children. Julia and Dave have Jacob (11) and Lily (3) while Time and Shelley have brand new one year old Jack.

Because we have traveled so much both in the US and around the world God has blessed us with many friends and families. I just received that one of our extended families has produced another offspring. Richard and Bridget Kidd are planting a church near Atlanta and had Baby Jonathan on my grandson Jack's birthday, February 15.

Big brother and sister Matthew and Rachel are two of my favorite people.

Go to http://www.lpchurch.org/kiddrev/page4/page4.html for photos and notes about the Kidd and church families.

Still Healing After all These Years

Almost 31 years ago I finished my doctoral dissertation at University of Cincinnati. In it I compared basic relationship skills with the Fruit of the Spirit laid out in Galatians 5:22 ff. Way back then in 1975 I discovered that the key to Helping other people grow was not knowledge or insight or mastery of a technique or intervention. The most important, radical and crucial aspects of influencing others to grow, change and heal are interacting with specific skills and attitudes.

If you want to be a good teacher, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good pastor, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good father, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good mother, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good counselor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good doctor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good lover, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good manager, relate with those skills.

In scripture they are called Fruit of the Holy Spirit and arise from abiding in Jesus. "Love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, kindness, longsuffering."

In human interaction they are called "The Core Conditions of Healthy Relationships" and can be taught to every mentally healthy person.

Genuineness: Knowing self and managing self
Respect: Knowing and honoring others
Empathy: Listening and relating to others non-judgmentally
Warmth: Caring and upbuilding non-verbals.

These are still the key attributes of healthy ministry, healthy families and healthy counseling.

Spiritual Growth

I have been interested in the stages of spiritual growth for many years. Even as a kid it was obvious that some members of the church were more mature than others. Looking back I can see that my dad was in the stage of maturity that allowed him to think and act without first asking if it was OK with the other members of the church. He was an independent thinker.

Mother, on the other hand, was chained hand and foot to the opinions of others. Her chronic cry was, "Oh Gary Ray, what will people say?" Her sense of personhood was dependent upon being accepted and approved by others.

Although I did not like Mother's using that line with me I really thought down deep inside that she was more mature than Dad. Mother went to church often, read the Bible a lot and talked with that funny, out of place and time King James English when she prayed.

Dad gently scoffed at her need to get him to seem religious by attending every meeting at the church and going to listen to all the traveling evangelists who came through town. He even had the affront to criticize their chronic attempts to control people with hell fire and brimstone sermons. Dad was big on grace and mercy. He often said, "Gary, don't you believe those guys when they tell you God is going to punish you for every little thing. Jesus took care of all that on the cross. What they say is just their own ideas and misery coming out. It is not biblical."

That made Dad look pretty immature to me because I could not separate religious behavior from spiritual life. They were all mixed together in my mind. It took Mother and me both a long time to see that Dad was right and we were wrong.

After a stint of deep depression Mother finally discovered how to "rest in the Lord" and cease from her striving. She died happy and blessed and trusting in God rather than church attendance. That was a real victory.

Too Busy to Blog

I knew I had been too busy but when it hit me that I had not blogged for several days I knew I was on the verge of a burn out. I have been writing on others' blogs because I do like to respond to what people are saying. I love some dialogue so comments turn me on. Here, I am usually alone so there is no one to dialogue with.

On a internet discussion group the recent buzz has been about R.C. Sproul Jr and his entire elder board being disfellowshipped from their denomination and their ordination removed. That is a severe penalty in our day and age and rare to behold.

Their wrongs were related to lying about the doctrine of child communion. They believe in and practice it. However, they lied to their denomination about it. In addition, the group seems to have practiced a rather brutal style of church authority and harshly removed a family and all the children from their church. The supposed cause was disobedience to the absolute authority of the elders.

But that is not all. The pastor and elders shunned the family and their five young children. If ever there was a case of "corrupted power" I suppose this is it. Thankfully, some of the former members refused to stay silent and reported the incidents to the overseers. You may take a look at the following blog for more information.
http://www.bruisedreed.blogspot.com/

Keep all concerned in your prayers. All of us can be tempted and to fall into sin. If you are involved in an unhealthy or abusive church, leave immediately.

Sex and Health

Udry, J. Richard. "Add Health Study." The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health Carolina Population Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 25 July 2003. 30 Oct. 2003

The study questioned 12 to 18 year-olds and followed up on them six years later.
Sexually Transmitted Disease rates for white youth who pledged to stay virgins until marriage was 2.8 percent compared with 3.5 percent for those who didn't pledge. (A .7% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)

Black youth rates were 18.1 % for those who pledged to remain celibate and 20.3 % for those who did not make the pledge. (A 2 .1% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
For Hispanic youth 6.7% of those who pledged and 8.6% for those who did not pledge had STDs. (A 1.9% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)

One dramatic difference occurred in the rates of those who had sex. In all, 99% of the non-pledgers and 88 %of pledgers had sex before marriage. A 12% difference makes a difference in pregnancy, emotional loss, depression and rates of poverty.

Virginity pledges also delayed sexual activity and led to fewer partners both of which are positive results.

This shows the power of the pledges by themselves. It also shows that a one-time pledge alone is not enough. Those connected with the abstinence movement would agree.

Commentary

From a psychological point of view, research is clear about the power of a pledge to shape future behavior. Making a promise to do anything, good or bad, tends to promote the behavior promised. Sales personnel know this power and do everything thy can to get us to make a small, very, insignificant promise in order to get us to make larger ones. For example, telephone sales people always ask a simple question just to get you to say “Yes” to it so you will be more like to say “Yes” to their product later.

Therapists use this approach to get people to agree to positive behavior. When a client is suicidal we ask them to sign a pledge not to hurt themselves and to call if they feel like they want to. This has good results and a counselor would be unprofessional if he/she failed to do it.

Second, one pledge may be somewhat effective but not as effective as ongoing support and re-commitment to sexual discipline. Keeping young people engaged in positive support groups is critically important to their mental, emotional and sexual health.

Once a Soviet, Always a Soviet

The Moscow Times

Thursday, January 26, 2006. Page 1.
Putin: Spy Flap Justifies NGO LawBy Carl Schreck Staff Writer

President Vladimir Putin on Wednesday cited a purported British spy ring as justification for the controversial law that will tighten state control over nongovernmental organizations. But he said he had not decided whether four British diplomats accused of being spies should be expelled.
Two days after the Federal Security Service, or FSB, announced that it had uncovered a spy ring of four mid-ranking diplomats at the British Embassy and their Russian contact, Putin said that "it has now become clear to many why Russia passed a law regulating NGO activities."

So, Putin is stopping Christian Missionaries and local churches from their activities because the British EMBASSY is caught spying? Wow, what Soviet style paranoia.

Pray for Galina and her family and her ministry. Our friends Arthur and Betty Gasch are preparing to visit in a few weeks.

The Wall Street Journal Online

Freedom's Unsung Hero
January 26, 2006; Page A10

Hong Kong's prosperity since World War II is sometimes referred to as a "miracle." But miracles require the intervention of a deity, whereas Hong Kong's remarkable economic growth between 1945 and its handover to China in 1997 owes a great deal to the nonintervention of a mortal man, John James Cowperthwaite, who died over the weekend at the age of 90.

Cowperthwaite arrived in Hong Kong in 1945 and served as Financial Secretary of the then-British colony from 1961-1971. Perhaps more than any other single figure, he was the architect and guardian of the greatest natural experiment in free-market capitalism in the postwar world. It is all the more remarkable that he kept the colonial government small and out of the business of business at a time when socialism was ascendant in Britain.

In 1997, Milton Friedman noted that since 1945 Hong Kong's GDP per capita had gone from a fraction to substantially more than that of Israel and Britain, and had caught up with that of the U.S., even as the colony's population increased tenfold. That astonishing performance became a policy beacon first to the nearby small nations of Asia (the "tigers") and eventually to Mainland China itself.

One of the better known stories about the undeservedly obscure Cowperthwaite was his refusal to collect economic statistics about Hong Kong during his tenure as Financial Secretary, lest they produce an impulse toward central planning among the bureaucrats. "I did very little," Sir John once said. "All I did was to try to prevent some of the things that might undo it." Other would-be central planners could learn a lot from what John Cowperthwaite didn't do.
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Many people want to "control" the church, but I say let the capitalist approach set the pace. There is no better way to "Manage" a church than the way Cowperwaite ran Hong Kong. He let the people run themselves.

The old European approach to church leadership is dead. They always wanted central planning, central control and central bureaucracies. In the day when it took three months to get word from London to Boston and all things were moving slowly, that may not have seemd normal.

But even back in the 1700's American Christians became impatient with all that central control and began to turn the spiritual life of Americans over to every man and women. It has revolutionized the way we do church.

The First Great Revival/Awakening led to economic freedom, the Revolutionary War, freedom for women and freedom for the establishment of new churches .

The Second Revival/Awakening led to the Abolition Movement and freedom of slaves as well as more economic freedom.

Today's Revival/Awakening is leading to the sharing of not so much economic and political freedom but of spiritual freedom.

The Motto is: Let my People Grow and Go.

Reactivity and Differing

The staff of the College Hill Presbyterian Church consisted of ten men and women who held various positions on such topics as healing, evangelism, church growth and pastoral care. Despite those very strong opinions for the most part we made a dynamic and effective team. How did we manage to do it?

1. We intentionally worked on developing the skills and attitudes that make good teams.

2. We did not leave team development to chance, but took time at each meeting for prayer, care and share.

3. We went on retreats for fun, prayer, hearing God and planning.

4. We committed ourselves to "Agree to disagree agreeably".

5. We all took the Myers-Briggs Temperament Type test and discussed our preferences openly and learned to respect each others' preferences.

6. We kept short accounts holding each other accountable for inappropriate behavior.

7. We studied, taught and practiced Mt. 18:15 about reconciliation one on one.

8. We agreed to keep our conversations upbuilding and not to gossip about one another outside the group.

9. We encouraged vigorous debate before a decision but all disagreements disappeared after a decision was made. The Senior Pastor was not exempt from hearing disagreement.

10. Communication about expectations was clear and open. People knew exactly what to expect.

These things kept reactivity to a minimum and we all learned how to run a healthy group.

Duplicity

In a Postmodern world facts do not seem to be very important, even to many Christians and some Pastors. Do you remember the scandal about Jimmy Swaggart? He was a famous TV preacher who took a very hard stand against sexual immorality, drinking and so forth. Then he was caught with a hooker in a sleazy motel. Duplicity!

As a therapist I have been trained to watch for the telltale signs of duplicity, avoidance, denial and defensiveness in people. When I heard Jimmy Swaggart vehemently preach against psychology, counseling and therapists I smelled a rat. As Will Shakespeare said, "I think he protests too much."

He was afraid of being found out.One day I was looking at a magazine advertisement for the Jimmy Swaggart Bible College and noticed a photo of text books, one of which was written by a prominent Christian psychologist. I asked a friend who worked for the college about the Freudian slip and he answered that they taught counseling and psychology at the school but Swaggart had to deny it on camera lest he lose financial supporters. Duplicity.

Many years ago the famous pastor Gordon McDonald wrote a best selling book called, Ordering your Private World. We discussed it as a staff at College Hill Pres. It was awful. He proposed a rigid, legalistic self control that had a hard edge on it. I smelled a rat.

A short-time later his mistress went public and exposed his immorality. He protested too much. He and his wife later wrote a book telling about their wonderful family life and parenting skills but failed to mention his adultery at the same time. Duplicity.

Duplicity leads to death, especially when we deceive ourselves.I can remember a bit of an old rhyme.What a web we all do weave when we do deceive.

The truth shall set you free.Has it set you free? Do you have a testimony?

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr: A Peaceful Presence

Rev King lived, worked and lead in one of the most turbulent and dangerous times in American history. Despite the danger to himself and his family, Dr. King was bold and unafraid to speak out about the things he believed. He seemed to recognize that he would be a martyr yet he kept on leading and speaking.

The fact that he lead by all peaceful means is indicative that he was himself a man of peace who followed the Prince of Peace. Some called for violence but Rev King always called for love, patience and turning the other cheek.

We need more like him today.

Peace or Anxiety

Last post I mentioned that many famous people that many consider to be leaders are very anxious and Reactive to events. This includes almost all the famous radio and TV personalities and national figures who lead organizations that attack social and spiritual problems.

But we who follow the Prince of peace are supposed to have and live in peace not anxiety.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Why is it that I see so few national leaders who have that which Jesus seemed to think was basic to knowing Him? I am not a Roman Catholic but it seems to me that several of their most famous leaders have been peaceful. One immediately thinks of Mother Teresa and Pope John-Paul, both of whom just passed away. (The RC's who read this will protest that there are plenty of Priests and Bishops who panicked when they discovered sin in their camp.)

A peaceful person is one who can enter into difficult situations with little support and still take a stand for what they believe. They are not overly worried about the press, friends or public opinion but speak up according to their own core values. Sometimes we caricature peaceful people as being weak but the opposite is true.

Mother Teresa was able to challenge leaders and make decisions even when they were unpopular. Her order bought a building in New York City to care for the poorest and sickest in the city bit they were stopped by bureaucrats who insisted they had to put in a very expensive elevator to take the religious workers up and down the floors.

Mother Teresa said that was ridiculous and her people were quite used to walking. The city rules had to be obeyed, of course, and she sold the building and left them to care for the poor. She would not be bullied. She was peaceful and knew what she believed and acted on her beliefs.
Jesus was a peaceful presence. He entered many difficult situations without getting uptight. He was not Reactive to the demands of Mary, Martha before raising Lazarus from the dead.

He refused to minister to the crowds who followed and demanded that He feed and heal them.

He acted out of His own ideas, values and goals. That is a Peaceful Presence.

In modern America an assertive leader is too often seen as a dictator, but that is wrong. We need leaders who will call a spade a spade and tell us their ideas and ideals.

Wishy washy politicians are not leaders but poll readers.

Think about Winston Churchill. He led with vigor, frankness and character. He said, I cannot lead to a vision of the future if my ear is always to the ground.

I wish I could say I am always a peaceful presence when the going gets tough. I wish I was "Cool Hand Luke" when the pressure is on; that I was unconcerned about what others think of me and how my performance is stacking up. I wish I could say I do not love accolades and hate criticism. I wish I could always take stands without worrying about people not liking me. But I am getting better.

So, I am not where I want to be but thank God I am better than I used to be.

Judge Alito and Mental/Emotional Health

As I watched the TV news over the past few weeks I have been struck again and again by the irrational, emotional reactions to this mild mannered man. First, allow me to define REACTION as opposed to RESPONSES:

Reactivity is an extreme, automatic, emotional action based on personal values with little or nor factual demand for the actions.

Responses are a blend of emotional and thoughtful activities based on facts as well as values, convictions and personal decisions.

Groups from both ends of the political and social spectrum are highly REACTIVE about this nomination as well as that of Justice Roberts. I get e-mails almost daily from Right Wingers warning me that the end of democracy, family values and Christianity is near if the "Liberals" defeat Alito. I also get mail from the Left Wing that is so hysterical that what they portend is risible.

Pat Robertson has made himself a laughing stock to the world with his extremely volatile and irrationally Reactive statements about world leaders. He must have detached his brain from his heart before suggesting that the President of a nation should be killed.

The Left is equally overwrought. For crying out loud how they can choose as their leaders such howling hysterics I do not know. Back when I was comfortably settled in the Left Wing we fought with intellect as well as heart against injustice and for human rights. Now I can understand people who produce irrationally scary movies like Friday the 13th to make money but these folks actually believe that President Bush is Beelzebub and that he planned 911 just before he planned how to blow up the levees in New Orleans and leave all those poor Blacks stranded at the Super Dome.

A Responsive Liberal is mature enough to get facts and is reasonable enough to back up their ideas, values and feelings with information and balance. They can say, I disagree with President Bush and here is why without cursing him or accusing him of atrocities. Use your head.

A Responsive Conservative can disagree with Hillary Clinton without accusing her of being a witch or fighting her common sense comments such as, It Takes A Village to Rear A Child. Any pastor, educator or therapist knows that is true. Use your head.

When Presidential Candidate Howard Dean let loose with a high pitched scream of hope he was roundly vilified by the press both left and right. I think it was unfair to do so. When I studied the film carefully it was obvious that he was having fun. He was not angry or aggressive. However, because that scream came from a man known for his irritatingly and irresponsible comments he was seen as unstable. In other words, people considered the source.

Pat Robertson has done many great things for Christianity over the years but he is about to lose all credibility for all of us and completely destroy his legacy. From now on people can only see the screams not the substance.

Several Senators and religious leaders have made themselves look like irrational buffoons during the Alito hearings. They have been so Reactive while Alito was always completely Responsive. Who do you want making and interpreting the laws and leading American Christianity? Why are so many of the famous political and Christian leaders Reactive and get all the press?

Do we not deserve leaders who have the peace of Jesus?

Mother Taught Me Many Things

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10 My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Getting the Right Person in the Right Place

Several years ago when I was working at the University of Cincinnati I was among several people who were candidates for one of the new Deanships. It was an exciting challenge to be considered and I desperately wanted to be in the chosen group. However, I hated the idea of being one of the Deans.

Now why would I want a position but hate the job? I wanted many of the things that the position offered but did not desire to do the tasks that having the position meant I would be forced to do. A Dean had to do budgets, lead and attend numerous committee meetings, sit in boring administrative meetings, play political games with the President and University Board. YUCK! I hated those things.

But I certainly was interested in having my picture on the Administrative Album and I was very interested in the title and pay scale. Man oh man I liked the sound of being called, "Dean Sweeten" and having people listen as I described my meeting with the President.

After losing out I told an old friend about my disappointment. He warmly tryed to console me. We chatted awhile and he said, "I can not imagine you in that administrative job." I agreed: "It is like I was in a bowling tournament with the prize a keg of beer. I hate beer but I would want to win the tournament anyway just so I could turn it down. It was the competition and I don't want to lose."

These days I am Coaching people who are in competition to make career decisions or take a new position. Many times they want to win but dislike the prize. No job is worth taking unless it allows us to use our gifts and talents.

In the following posts I have written about the skills and training needed to be in various positions. I see numerous churches, non-profits and companies hiring people who are unqualified by gift and passion as well as skill set to actually do the job. That is a terrible thing to do.

Many groups hire pastors, presidents and managers because they have long "experience" in the field without asking if they can really do the job. That is like selecting a flight attendant to be the pilot. Both have many miles in the air but only one can actually fly the airplane.

LEVELS OF RELATING

Level 1. Giving and Receiving Basic Instructions : Can understand and written information (one-way) communication.

Level 2. Serving others : Responding to implicit or explicit requests for action.

Level 3. Amusing : Able to divert with humor.

Level 4. Persuading : Influences others in favor of a product, service, or point of view.

At various times in my workshops students have stated with some truth that most churches and businesses want leaders with these four mmost basic skills. Many elder boards want a pastor that can 1. Take instructions, 2. Serve them, 3. Amuse the congregation and 4. Persuade people to follww him and donate time and money.

I am reminded of an old comic stip called "Li'l Abner". He was a Redneck with great looks and very poor mental abilities. This left him victim to many shysters who wanted to draw Abner into schemes where they could use his good looks to make people think he was a gifted leader. However, it always backfired because Abner just could not pull it off.

This is true of many pulpit committees and organizations. They choose the beautiful and well spoken, persuasive types with few skills of management, mentoring, coaching, leadership and influential relationships.

In the following posts you will see that the above four skills are necessary but far from sufficient. However, many graduates from seminary and business schools can do little else. Unfortunately, these four skill levels do not begin to empower a person to lead an organization.

For many years I have been training people to move on up to the higher skill levels. We are excited about helping churches, NGO's and businesses find ways to increase the skills of their key leaders. Call me to discuss how we can help you and your organization.

Post your comments and let me know what you think.

Basic Levels of Influence

Although many groups want a leader who can persuade and speak well in public in a one-way manner, two-way communication is much more important in leadership. Many in the national media attack the IQ of President Bush based on the perception that he is not a persuasive speaker. But that is unfair and due to gross ignorance.

In ministry as well as governmental leadership listening well to the heart and mind of others is critically important. It is also basic to the next Levels.

Level 5. Two-way communication : Can carry on a continuing exchange of information both verbally and non-verbally. Is able to accurately separate self from others and own thoughts, feelings, and actions from others’. Can accurately assess issues and problems.

Level 6. Negotiating : Exchanges ideas, information, and insight with others to develop policies, programs, contracts, or understanding. Includes conflict management, dealing with inappropriate or contradictory input, and volatile emotions.

Level 7. Coaching, consulting, counseling, instructing are essential to a well functioning church.

A. Coaching : Befriends, encourages, or advises others.

B. Consulting : Coaches with the addition of technical input.

C. Counsel : Coaches and consults with relational, emotional input.

D. Instructing : Teach and train through lecture, emonstration, practice, accountability. Requires expertise in specific content.

Skills Levels for Leadership and Influence

One would assume that the most influential pesons in our society would have the bet training and the highest order of skills. Unfortunately, that is not always true. For over 30 years I have been an educator and trainer in both secular and Christian venues. There is a huge need for the church and Christian organizations to focus on training high quality persons.

The following three Levels of training and giftedness are essential to the effective operation of churches, businesses and governmental agencies.

Level 8. Supervising : Develops work responsibilities for others; evaluates performance; inspires motivation and harmony; moves group toward mission in congruence with the goals and values of the organization .

Level 9. Mentoring : Helps persons grow as into maturity and wholeness. (eg. home, family, work, church, community). Must balance mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, and career considerations to advise, consult, counsel, coach, instruct, supervise, etc.

Level 10. Therapy : Specialized, technical knowledge to carry out therapeutic interventions in the treatment of the ill (mentally, emotionally, spiritually).

Soul Man

Leon Kass sounds a warning about the perils of biotechnology

BY BRET STEPHENS Saturday, January 7, 2006 12:01 a.m. EST Wall Street Journal

WASHINGTON--Leon Kass is willing--reluctantly willing--to indulge a request. I have asked him to refresh our interview of several weeks ago by reflecting on the case of Hwang Woo Suk, the internationally celebrated South Korean researcher who recently admitted to fabricating cloned stem cells. Dr. Kass thinks that a decennial White House conference on aging might make for an equally timely news peg. Health and longevity; dementia and death; euthanasia and living wills; performance enhancement and life-prolonging genetic manipulations--these are the subjects that really engage the mind of this 66-year-old physician and ethicist (and former philosophy professor of mine).

As for embryos, stem cells, cloning and the uses and abuses thereof, they are "not the most profound of subjects," he told me over a pot of tea in the kitchen of his Washington apartment. "The embryo question is really about the means. The real question has to do with the ends to which we put this."

As far as Dr. Hwang is concerned, Dr. Kass is merciless, and he fires grapeshot: "Scientific fraud is always revolting, but it is fortunately rare and, in the end, truth will out. But in this case, American scientists and the American media have been complicit in the fraud, because of their zeal in the politics of stem-cell and cloning research and their hostility to the Bush funding policy. Concerted efforts have been made these past five years to hype therapeutic cloning, including irresponsible promises of cures around the corner and 'personalized repair kits' for every degenerative disease. The need to support these wild claims and the desire to embarrass cloning opponents led to the accelerated publication of Dr. Hwang's 'findings.' . . . We even made him Exhibit A for the false claim that our moral scruples are causing American science to fall behind."

Ever since his appointment in 2001 as chairman of the President's Council on Bioethics (a position he relinquished last fall), he has been gamely and evenhandedly trying to work his way through the embryo debate, which really is just a salient in the larger culture war between "choice" and "life." But in an era in which biomedical technologies have already begun to alter the broad and basic contours of human nature, questions about when life begins, or what is permissible in the name of medicine, seem almost quaint. "Killing the creature made in God's image is an old story," he says. "Redesigning him after our own fantasies: That's what's really new."

If we can do it we will do it. If we can clone humans we will clone humans.

Theodicy: Where is God When Life Falls Apart?

The tragic deaths of those miners in West Virginia brings all of us to consider our own mortality. At such times as these we all must face our eternal destiny and consider whether God exists or not. Agnostics and sceptics ask, "Where was God?" and believers ask "Where am I with God?"

Many years ago C. S. Lewis wrote a great book, God in the Dock. As an Englishman, C.S. Lewis used Dock to mean the court of justice where a crimninal goes to be charged for a crime. In past generations humans would place themselves in the dock and ask, "Am I guilty of sin and will I be judged by a holy God?" Modern humans are not very interested in looking at their own guilt but instead judge the God of whom they do not believe.

The tsunami in Asia, the hurricanes in the Gulf and the earthquakes in Pakistan were each met with questions about the presence of God when evil strikes. I think such a question indicates that people are much more interested in God during a crisis than at the height of a party.

It also indicates that modern humans are led by an unthinking belief that everyone should live forever or at least until they wish to die. We have become so wealth and so used to miracle medicines that we do not believe that accidents, natural disasters, sickness and death are normal. Unfortunately, each is an awful reality.

In the Barbara Walters' Special about Heaven she asked famous religionists what they believe about Heaven. Some controversy was stirred by Christians who stated that all who call on Jesus will be saved and go to Heaven. I found it amazing that no one seemed to realize that in the Hindu and Buddhist beliefs nobody ever gets to Heaven. Everyone is caught forever in the wheel of Reincarnation, the end of which is merging into universal energy.

When we all come to our certain end and ask the final questions it is important to know that God is deciding our future and our eternity. He does so with love, grace and mercy but we will meet Him face to face. Life nowadays is so great that Heaven seems to pale in comparison. But we are wrong to think that.

As a kid I resented the fact that the old folks loved to sing all the old songs about heaven. They would get teary eyed and mention how glad they were to think about a reunion with Pa and Ma and the loved ones who had passed before.

Today I am not so mystified by the old days and the songs of Zion. Then I was looking forward to a bright future. Now I am looking back at a wonderful life.

By and by, Lord, When the morning comes
When the saints of God are gathered home
I will tell the story how we've overcome
We will undrstand it better by and by

I used to think I had all the answers but back then I had not faced all the questions. Now I know what I do not know so I can sing with conviction: "I will understand it better by and by..."

The Penny

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels. Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. Arlene was nervous about the weekend. The boss was wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway and cars costing more than her house.

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts.

Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value. A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see.

She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says."
"United States of America."
"No, not that; read further."
"One cent?"
"No, keep reading"
"In God we Trust?"
"Yes!"
"And?"
"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him.

For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me! Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful! When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient...

Ask If We Can Pray

Several years ago when Karen and I were visiting Scooter and Carol Franks in New Mexico they introduced us to a novel and interesting way to minister to people. As the waitress came over to take our order Scooter said in a respectable manner, "We are going to ask God's blessing on us and the food in a minute. Are there any issues we can pray about for you?"

I thought that was a pretty neat idea so whenever I think of it and am led by the Spirit I follow their lead. The week before Christmas I was having a business lunch at Watson Brothers' Brewery in Blue Ash when I asked the waitress that question. She enthusiastically answered, "You sure can. Pray that his place does not close down and I lose my job. In fact all of us will lose our jobs. Ask God to grant our liquor license. We failed to pay the fee and the inspector came in and shut our bar down last week."

Then this young woman stood over our table and Jim and I asked God to show them favor with the tax people and grant them their liquor license again. As most of you know, I grew up in a virulently anti-drinking family of Baptists. So, I was shocked at the request for ti sounded so strange, but nevertheless I fervently asked God for a miracle and keep Watson 's open.

Warning! If you ask people how to pray be prepared for some surprises.

God Star Chili

Earlier this evening Karen and I stopped at Gold Star Chili to grab a bite after moving her mother Hazel Guriel from a nursing home to independent living. It was a good day but one that was quite tiring.

A very young woman took our order and before she left to fill it I asked the key question. "Is there anything we can pray about for you?" She was shocked but said excitedly, "Oh, thank you. Just pray for my family problems at home. Just my family problems."

Karen and I bowed our heads and asked God's richest blessings on young Kait and her family, especially the ones with the "problems". When she brought our food Kait told us with tears that "I go to church too and our youth pastor is always telling us to do these kinds of things. I just have chills all over because it is the first time I have ever seen anybody actually do it."

As I paid the bill she again thanked us profusely and was apparently more hopeful that God was at work in her family. As we drove away Karen remarked, "There is so much pain in the world. So much pain."

Thank God for His grace and our opportunity to offer it to the world one young girl waitress at a time. Thanks to Scooter and carol we learned a simple new way to bless hurting people.

Dungy Thanks Nation for Support

Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy briefly addressed the media Tuesday afternoon following services in Lutz, Fla., honoring his son, James Dungy:

"I'll start out by saying, 'Thank You,' for the love, the prayers and the support that we've received from the people of Tampa, the people of Indianapolis and the people all over the country. They've been very, very great and gracious to us in a time of grief for our family.

"We loved our son very much. He loved us. And we miss him terribly. But we also understand that we have some tremendous promises from God. God promises to be with us. He's with us in the great times. He's with us in the tough times. Our family will stand strong. The strength that we have in the Lord will allow us to get through this just as we get through times of victory.

"Our grief is great, but from our family, we just say, `Thank You' to everyone. We appreciate everybody who has touched his life, everybody who has been part of him growing up. James - was a good young man with a compassionate heart and we were glad to have him for 18 years.

"We're also glad that he accepted Christ as his savior so that God has him now for the rest of eternity.

Thank You."

Can anything be more painful than losing a child, especially in such a tragic manner. Mr. Dungy, head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, was able to affirm his on and offer thanks to God and the nation for support. This was a class act by a fine man in deep grief.

Are Liberal Scholars Really Objective?

A friend, Bob Vincent, www.rbvincent.com recently sent me some materials from Anne Rice, the famous historical novelist. An atheist she came back to faith while researching the life of Jesus. "Author's Note,"Christ the Lord out of Egypt, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2005, p. 320.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As I sat on the floor of my office surrounded by books about Sumer, Egypt, Rome, etc., and some skeptical material about Jesus that had come into my hands, I couldn't understand how these people had endured as the great people who they were. It was this mystery that drew me back to God. It set into motion the idea that there may in fact be God. And when that happened there grew in me for whatever reason an immense desire to return to the banquet table. In 1998 I went back to the Catholic Church.

But even then I had not closed in on the question of Jesus Christ and Christianity. I did read the Bible in a state of utter amazement at its variety, its poetry, its startling portraits of women, its inclusion of bizarre and often bloody and violent details. "When I was depressed, which was often, someone read the Bible to me, often literary translations of the New Testament--that is, translations by Richmond Lattimore that are wondrously literal and beautiful and revealing and that open the text anew.

In 2002 I put aside everything else and decided to focus entirely on answering the questions that had dogged me all my life. The decision came in July of that year. I had been reading the Bible constantly, reading parts of it out loud to my sister, and poring over the Tanach (Old Testament), and I decided that I would give myself utterly to the task of trying to understand Jesus himself and how Christianity emerged.

I wanted to write the life of Jesus Christ. I had known that years ago. But now I was ready. I was ready to do violence to my career. I wanted to write the book in the first person. Nothing else mattered. I consecrated the book to Christ.

I consecrated myself and my work to Christ. I didn't know exactly how I was going to do it.
Even then I did not know what my character of Jesus would be like.

I had taken in a lot of fashionable notions about Jesus that he'd been oversold, that the Gospels were "late" documents, that we really didn't know anything about him, that violence and quarreling marked the movement of Christianity from its start. I'd acquired many books on Jesus, and they filled the shelves of my office.

I have studied the New Testament period, and I continue to study. I read constantly, night and day. I have covered an enormous amount of skeptical criticism, violent arguments, and I have read voraciously in the primary sources of Philo and Josephus which I deeply enjoy.

Having started with the skeptical critics, those who take their cue from the earliest skeptical New Testament scholars of the Enlightenment, I expected to discover that their arguments would be frighteningly strong, and that Christianity was, at heart, a kind of fraud. I'd have to end up compartmentalizing my mind with faith in one part of it, and truth in another. And what would I write about my Jesus? I had no idea. But the prospects were interesting. Surely he was a liberal, married, had children, was a homosexual, and who knew what? But I must do my research before I wrote one word.

These skeptical scholars seemed so very sure of themselves. They built their books on certain assertions without even examining these assertions. How could they be wrong? The Jewish scholars presented their case with such care. Certainly Jesus was simply an observant Jew or a Hasid who got crucified. End of story.

I read and I read and I read. Sometimes I thought I was walking through the valley of the shadow of Death, as I read. But I went on, ready to risk everything. I had to know who Jesus was--that is, if anyone knew, I had to know what that person knew.

Now, I couldn't read the ancient languages, but as a scholar I can certainly follow the logic of an argument; I can check the footnotes, and the bibliographical references; I can go to the biblical text in English. I can check all the translations...

What gradually came clear to me was that many of the skeptical arguments--arguments that insisted most of the Gospels were suspect, for instance, or written too late to be eyewitness accounts--lacked coherence. They were not elegant. Arguments about Jesus himself were full of conjecture. Some books were no more than assumptions piled upon assumptions. Absurd conclusions were reached on the basis of little or no data at all.

In sum, the whole case for the nondivine Jesus who stumbled into Jerusalem and somehow got crucified by nobody and had nothing to do with the founding of Christianity and would be horrified by it if he knew about it--that whole picture which had floated in the liberal circles I frequented as an atheist for thirty years--that case was not made. Not only was it not made, I discovered in this field some of the worst and most biased scholarship I'd ever read.

I saw almost no skeptical scholarship that was convincing, and the Gospels, shredded by critics, lost all intensity when reconstructed by various theorists. They were in no way compelling when treated as composites and records of later "communities."

I was unconvinced by the wild postulations of those who claimed to be children of the Enlightenment. And I had also sensed something else. Many of these scholars, scholars who apparently devoted their life to New Testament scholarship, disliked Jesus Christ. Some pitied him as a hopeless failure. Others sneered at him, and some felt an outright contempt. This came between the lines of the books. This emerged in the personality of the texts.. I'd never come across this kind of emotion in any other field of research, at least not to this extent. It was puzzling.

The people who go into Elizabethan studies don't set out to prove that Queen Elizabeth I was a fool. They don't personally dislike her. They don't make snickering remarks about her, or spend their careers trying to pick apart her historical reputation.

They approach her in other ways. They don't even apply this sort of dislike or suspicion or contempt to other Elizabethan figures. If they do, the person is usually not the focus of the study. Occasionally a scholar studies a villain, yes. But even then, the author generally ends up arguing for the good points of a villain or for his or her place in history, or for some mitigating circumstance, that redeems the study itself People studying disasters in history may be highly critical of the rulers or the milieu at the time, yes. But in general scholars don't spend their lives in the company of historical figures whom they openly despise.

But there are New Testament scholars who detest and despise Jesus Christ. Of course, we all benefit from freedom in the academic community; we benefit from the enormous size of biblical studies today and the great range of contributions that are being made. I'm not arguing for censorship. But maybe I'm arguing for sensitivity--on the part of those who read these books. Maybe I'm arguing for a little wariness when it comes to the field in general. What looks like solid ground might not be solid ground at all.

Another point bothered me a great deal. All these skeptics insisted that the Gospels were late documents, that the prophesies in them had been written after the Fall of Jerusalem. But the more I read about the Fall of Jerusalem, the more I couldn't understand this. The Fall of Jerusalem was horrific, and involved an enormous and cataclysmic war, a war that went on and on for years in Palestine, followed by other revolts and persecutions, and punitive laws. As I read about this in the pages of S. G. F. Brandon, and in Josephus, I found myself amazed by the details of this appalling disaster in which the greatest Temple of the ancient world was forever destroyed.

I had never truly confronted these events before, never tried to comprehend them. And now I found it absolutely impossible that the Gospel writers could not have included the Fall of the Temple in their work had they written after it as critics insist. It simply didn't and doesn't make sense.

These Gospel writers were in a Judeo-Christian cult. That's what Christianity was. And the core story of Judaism has to do with redemption from Egypt, and redemption from Babylon. And before redemption from Babylon there was a Fall of Jerusalem in which the Jews were taken to Babylon. And here we have this horrible war. Would Christian writers not have written about it had they seen it? Would they not have seen in the Fall of Jerusalem some echo of the Babylonian conquest? Of course they would have. They were writing for Jews and Gentiles.

The way the skeptics put this issue aside, they simply assumed the Gospels were late documents because of these prophesies in the Gospels. This does not begin to convince.

Narnia is Here

Karen and I saw The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe this week and I enjoyed it a lot. You can go to Christianity Today Daily Newsletter [ctdirect-html@lists.christianitytoday.com] and get a Bible study on the film as well as read several reviews.

Beware of Free Credit Report.com Fraud

Last year I heard the false and misleading ads of Free Credit Report.com and filled out an e mail application for a free 30 day trial subscription. After discovering that the only thing free about this scam was the name I called and cancelled my subscription.

Despite an advertised money back guarantee, they refused to refund the $79.95 they had illegally taken from my credit card.

Just today I received a notice saying that the FTC had charged them with fraud and is requiring them to send my money back. I called and they said I would be reimbursed "In a few weeks."

Never, ever do business with this company.

Sisters at Christmas

Karen, in red, with younger sister Toni Smith who flew in from St. Louis for the holidays. 

Our Family at Christmas 2005
The Matriarch, Hazel Guriel mother of Karen Sweeten (red coat) and Toni Smith (blue sweater) with David Knispel (left back) and Julia (front blue shirt) Jacob (red shirt) Tim (back white shirt) and Shelley Sweeten with Jack. Gary Sweeten far right.

Lily Knispel was sick and unavailable. 

Sunday, December 25, 2005

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/frontpage

Miracles do happen

By John JohnstonEnquirer staff writer

A petite woman sits on a bench, anxiously awaiting the arrival of a bus at the Greyhound terminal, downtown.

After 26 years of wishing for this Christmas, her wait is almost over.
She has green eyes and short blond hair. Her name is Joan Murrell. She is 55 and lives in Colerain Township.

She was Joan Murin when she went into labor on Christmas night, 1979.
She was 29 years old, unmarried, alone. She became pregnant, she says, when she was taken advantage of during a vulnerable time in her life.
For months she prayed about what to do with the baby. At first, she planned to keep it. Eventually, though, she felt God pointing her in a different direction. She wanted the child to be raised by two parents, not a single mother working two jobs. Placing the child for adoption, she decided, was the right thing to do.

It was not easy.

After an emergency C-section, mother and child remained in the hospital for several days. A doctor allowed her to hold and feed her baby. The infant would never remember those moments, but Joan wanted her to know she was loved.

On the day the private adoption was to be finalized, Joan nearly dissolved in tears. A nurse told her she could still change her mind. But she was wheeled outside the hospital doors, into the cold, to meet representatives of the adoptive parents.

The baby was wrapped in a blanket. She kissed her, again and again.
Then she handed her over.
Joan left the hospital with a macramé tree ornament. In the center was a small photo of her newborn daughter.
She has hung it on her Christmas tree each of the past 25 years.

Three years later, Joan met Fletcher Murrell. They have been married for 22 years.
They tried to start a family. Joan wanted two or three children. For eight years they tried. Fletcher checked out OK, but a doctor told Joan that she would need surgery to conceive. Even then, there were no guarantees.
They left it in God's hands.
Eventually, Murrell came to realize she would never have another child.
But she thought often of the one she had placed for adoption.
"I hoped and prayed that she had loving parents," she says.

Christmas and Mother's Day always were especially painful. As the years passed, Murrell thought of the milestones she was missing - her child riding a bike, celebrating birthdays, going on a first date. She wondered whether her daughter would ever try to find her.
"I hoped that I could see her one time before I died," she says.

Murrell didn't know it, but she could have bumped into her daughter in a grocery store. The girl and her adoptive parents lived only 10 minutes away until she was 11 years old.
Kristen Stiner moved from Cincinnati to Florida and then to Pennsylvania. She now lives in Meadville, Pa., and is studying to become a medical assistant. She began searching for her birth mother six years ago, when she was 19.

She had a great childhood and loving parents, she says. But she always felt "a huge void" - the result of not knowing where, and especially who, she had come from.
She posted her story on the Internet. She worked with databases that help adoptees locate birth parents. She even wrote to TV talk shows, hoping they'd have her on as a guest.
"Always a dead end," she says.

Last February, she called the Hamilton County Courthouse. Someone offered a tip: Try calling the attorney who represented the adoptive parents.
The attorney still practices law. He remembered the case. He gave Stiner the names of her birth parents.

Stiner couldn't find her birth mother, who by now had a different last name. But she found a phone number for her birth father, who'd had no contact with Joan for 25 years. He knew the name of the church Joan had attended back then. It's the same one she attends today: College Hill Presbyterian.

Murrell, a nurse's aide, had just come home last Feb. 22 when the receptionist from her church called. "I think you better sit down," the woman said. "I just had a young lady on the phone claiming to be your daughter."

Within minutes, Murrell was talking with Stiner. Both were in tears.
"She called me 'Mom.' I just never thought I would hear that word," Murrell says.
Or this one: Grandmother. Stiner, who is separated from her husband, has a daughter, Kara, age 5.

Since that day, Murrell and Stiner have talked frequently, asking and answering hundreds of questions. Murrell had worried that her daughter might be angry with her, but that has not been the case.
Stiner and her daughter came to Cincinnati for a two-week visit in July. Then they began looking forward to Christmas.

Tuesday afternoon at the bus terminal, Murrell is waiting at the wrong gate when a voice calls out. "Mom!"
Murrell turns, sees her daughter, and they embrace tightly. Then she hugs her red-haired granddaughter, who never stops smiling.

She can't wait to take them home. For 25 years, she wished and prayed and placed on her Christmas tree a macramé ornament with a photo of her newborn child.
The miracle, she says, is that her daughter is finally here to see it.

E-mail jjohnston@enquirer.com

Home for Christmas

Thanks to the Cincinnati Enquirer for this powerful photo. 

The Meadl of Honoring Mother

Joan and Kristin each wear this medal to remind themselves of God's miracle of reconciliation. 

The Miracle of Birth and Re-Birth

After countless nights of sleeplessness and days of sorrow Joan and Kristin were finally reunited. Kristin had been looking for her mom for six years and finally traced her to the church that helped save her life almost 25 years ago.

This life is why we are pro-life. We are pro-Kristin and pro-Joan and pro-future.
We are pro-grand kids and pro marriage and pro-family.  

Joan With New Grand Daughter Kara Stiner

Not only did Joan find her daughter, she also gained a beautiful new grand daughter.

When she decided to keep her baby despite emotional stresses, financial pressures and social embarrassments, Joan allowed a whole new generation of family to come into the world.  

Finally, We Meet Kristin and Kara
Karen and Gary, on the left, with Joan Murrel, her long lost daughter Kristin and daughter Kara.

Sometimes it takes a long time before we see the fruit of helping people in need. As the Bible says, Do not get weary while you are doing good things for people.

Because Joan decided to allow her pregnancy to go full term 25 years ago Kristin and Kara are alive and bringing joy into the world at Christmas. 

A Christmas Miracle

Make sure you get a copy of the Cincinnati Enquirer this Sunday, December 25, Christmas Day. One of our dearest friends, Joan Murrel, has been selected to represent the best of God’s grace and miracle-working power at Christmas. I will not spoil your surprise by letting the cat out of the bag now but I do want you to buy a paper and read the story before you thank the Lord for His great works.


For all those on my Life Way Friends’ list who live overseas or out of state go to the web site of the Enquirer and read the story online.

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/frontpage