Have Hope and Never Die?
From the Wall Street Journal's electronic daily newsletter blog. OpinionJournal@wsj.com
"Optimism is good for the heart, a study said on Monday," reports Reuters: The most optimistic among a group of 545 Dutch men age 64 to 84 had a roughly 50 percent lower risk of cardiovascular death over 15 years of follow-up, according to the study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.
Previous research has suggested being optimistic boosts overall physical health and lowers the risk of death from all causes."
HOPE: This is one reason why Christians live longer, healthier, happier lives.
It doesn't seem fair, does it? We live better lives while we are here on earth and then we get to live forever with Christ in Heaven after our bodies wear out. Wow! All that and heaven too.
Faith, hope and love remain. I CO 13
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Respect From a Teacher
An older classmate from Mt. Vernon Twp High School in Illinois, Bob Wood, Sent me this little story. I hope you enjoy it.
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an ex cellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.
Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
Who was your most Respectful teacher?
An older classmate from Mt. Vernon Twp High School in Illinois, Bob Wood, Sent me this little story. I hope you enjoy it.
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an ex cellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.
Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
Who was your most Respectful teacher?
Respect
I am sure many of you remember the great song by Aretha Franklin called, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! During my doctoral studies I discovered that offering Respect and Understanding to a person in need is worth all the knowledge I gained in graduate school about counseling.
It isn't that research about how the mind works and the ways people respond to a stimulus are not important, they are. It is just that any of that technical information is nearly worthless if it is not done with love. (I CO 13)
Many years ago I visited an old friend who was languishing in the hospital with inoperable cancer. As I stood at her door waiting for an opportunity to knock, I could hear her raspy voice barely rising above the air conditioner. She sounded bad.
Yet, when I walked in to her room, and said in a warm voice, "Hello Irene! It is so good to see you," she brightened up and said in a strong voice, "Gary Sweeten, you old dear. You are a sight for sore eyes!"
I respected Irene and indicated my love to her and it made a difference. I had no magic potion or medical answer to her problems but I had the presence of God. I was the Holy Spirit with skin.
The world is desperately in need of God's people who will live with respect and love. We are in a seriously regressing society that is trying to emulate Russia's failed experiments as fast as we can. Our culture needs more love, more respect, more warmth; we do not need increased criticism, increased anger and increased anxiety.
Wherever you work and play try to take the joy of the Lord and spread it around. It is good for you and good for the culture. Try it!
I am sure many of you remember the great song by Aretha Franklin called, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! During my doctoral studies I discovered that offering Respect and Understanding to a person in need is worth all the knowledge I gained in graduate school about counseling.
It isn't that research about how the mind works and the ways people respond to a stimulus are not important, they are. It is just that any of that technical information is nearly worthless if it is not done with love. (I CO 13)
Many years ago I visited an old friend who was languishing in the hospital with inoperable cancer. As I stood at her door waiting for an opportunity to knock, I could hear her raspy voice barely rising above the air conditioner. She sounded bad.
Yet, when I walked in to her room, and said in a warm voice, "Hello Irene! It is so good to see you," she brightened up and said in a strong voice, "Gary Sweeten, you old dear. You are a sight for sore eyes!"
I respected Irene and indicated my love to her and it made a difference. I had no magic potion or medical answer to her problems but I had the presence of God. I was the Holy Spirit with skin.
The world is desperately in need of God's people who will live with respect and love. We are in a seriously regressing society that is trying to emulate Russia's failed experiments as fast as we can. Our culture needs more love, more respect, more warmth; we do not need increased criticism, increased anger and increased anxiety.
Wherever you work and play try to take the joy of the Lord and spread it around. It is good for you and good for the culture. Try it!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Loss of our Culture
The Soviet Union's vicious and evil empire was not just a threat to the world it was even a greater threat to its own people. Millions were killed by various purges in order to keep the people in chronic fear.
The pain and evil committed in one generation is passed tsunami-like to future generations. Just think what chaos the murder of 30 to 50 million people has left for Christians to pick up currently. Alcohol, drugs, divorce, abortion, callous behavior, crude family life all exemplify modern Russia. It will likely take many years to bring even small cultural changes.
Unfortunately, the USA seems bent on a path of similar destruction. We have almost no memory about the things that made us healthy, wealthy and wise. We are seeing a rebellious and angry reaction to everything godly, caring and upbuilding.
The only hope is in God and His churches around the USA and Russia. We desperately need healthy families but a family cannot be healthy without a supportive environment in the church.
We need to share the good news and then build a strong, loving community based on God's Word. It is possible and God is on the move in many places.
Keep truckin as the kids said in the Seventies. It means we ought not give up.
The Soviet Union's vicious and evil empire was not just a threat to the world it was even a greater threat to its own people. Millions were killed by various purges in order to keep the people in chronic fear.
The pain and evil committed in one generation is passed tsunami-like to future generations. Just think what chaos the murder of 30 to 50 million people has left for Christians to pick up currently. Alcohol, drugs, divorce, abortion, callous behavior, crude family life all exemplify modern Russia. It will likely take many years to bring even small cultural changes.
Unfortunately, the USA seems bent on a path of similar destruction. We have almost no memory about the things that made us healthy, wealthy and wise. We are seeing a rebellious and angry reaction to everything godly, caring and upbuilding.
The only hope is in God and His churches around the USA and Russia. We desperately need healthy families but a family cannot be healthy without a supportive environment in the church.
We need to share the good news and then build a strong, loving community based on God's Word. It is possible and God is on the move in many places.
Keep truckin as the kids said in the Seventies. It means we ought not give up.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Family Around the World
Karen and I are very blessed to have both of our children, Julia Knispel and Timothy Sweeten living in this area with their spice and children. Julia and Dave have Jacob (11) and Lily (3) while Time and Shelley have brand new one year old Jack.
Because we have traveled so much both in the US and around the world God has blessed us with many friends and families. I just received that one of our extended families has produced another offspring. Richard and Bridget Kidd are planting a church near Atlanta and had Baby Jonathan on my grandson Jack's birthday, February 15.
Big brother and sister Matthew and Rachel are two of my favorite people.
Go to http://www.lpchurch.org/kiddrev/page4/page4.html for photos and notes about the Kidd and church families.
Karen and I are very blessed to have both of our children, Julia Knispel and Timothy Sweeten living in this area with their spice and children. Julia and Dave have Jacob (11) and Lily (3) while Time and Shelley have brand new one year old Jack.
Because we have traveled so much both in the US and around the world God has blessed us with many friends and families. I just received that one of our extended families has produced another offspring. Richard and Bridget Kidd are planting a church near Atlanta and had Baby Jonathan on my grandson Jack's birthday, February 15.
Big brother and sister Matthew and Rachel are two of my favorite people.
Go to http://www.lpchurch.org/kiddrev/page4/page4.html for photos and notes about the Kidd and church families.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Still Healing After all These Years
Almost 31 years ago I finished my doctoral dissertation at University of Cincinnati. In it I compared basic relationship skills with the Fruit of the Spirit laid out in Galatians 5:22 ff. Way back then in 1975 I discovered that the key to Helping other people grow was not knowledge or insight or mastery of a technique or intervention. The most important, radical and crucial aspects of influencing others to grow, change and heal are interacting with specific skills and attitudes.
If you want to be a good teacher, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good pastor, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good father, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good mother, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good counselor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good doctor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good lover, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good manager, relate with those skills.
In scripture they are called Fruit of the Holy Spirit and arise from abiding in Jesus. "Love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, kindness, longsuffering."
In human interaction they are called "The Core Conditions of Healthy Relationships" and can be taught to every mentally healthy person.
Genuineness: Knowing self and managing self
Respect: Knowing and honoring others
Empathy: Listening and relating to others non-judgmentally
Warmth: Caring and upbuilding non-verbals.
These are still the key attributes of healthy ministry, healthy families and healthy counseling.
Almost 31 years ago I finished my doctoral dissertation at University of Cincinnati. In it I compared basic relationship skills with the Fruit of the Spirit laid out in Galatians 5:22 ff. Way back then in 1975 I discovered that the key to Helping other people grow was not knowledge or insight or mastery of a technique or intervention. The most important, radical and crucial aspects of influencing others to grow, change and heal are interacting with specific skills and attitudes.
If you want to be a good teacher, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good pastor, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good father, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good mother, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good counselor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good doctor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good lover, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good manager, relate with those skills.
In scripture they are called Fruit of the Holy Spirit and arise from abiding in Jesus. "Love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, kindness, longsuffering."
In human interaction they are called "The Core Conditions of Healthy Relationships" and can be taught to every mentally healthy person.
Genuineness: Knowing self and managing self
Respect: Knowing and honoring others
Empathy: Listening and relating to others non-judgmentally
Warmth: Caring and upbuilding non-verbals.
These are still the key attributes of healthy ministry, healthy families and healthy counseling.
Spiritual Growth
I have been interested in the stages of spiritual growth for many years. Even as a kid it was obvious that some members of the church were more mature than others. Looking back I can see that my dad was in the stage of maturity that allowed him to think and act without first asking if it was OK with the other members of the church. He was an independent thinker.
Mother, on the other hand, was chained hand and foot to the opinions of others. Her chronic cry was, "Oh Gary Ray, what will people say?" Her sense of personhood was dependent upon being accepted and approved by others.
Although I did not like Mother's using that line with me I really thought down deep inside that she was more mature than Dad. Mother went to church often, read the Bible a lot and talked with that funny, out of place and time King James English when she prayed.
Dad gently scoffed at her need to get him to seem religious by attending every meeting at the church and going to listen to all the traveling evangelists who came through town. He even had the affront to criticize their chronic attempts to control people with hell fire and brimstone sermons. Dad was big on grace and mercy. He often said, "Gary, don't you believe those guys when they tell you God is going to punish you for every little thing. Jesus took care of all that on the cross. What they say is just their own ideas and misery coming out. It is not biblical."
That made Dad look pretty immature to me because I could not separate religious behavior from spiritual life. They were all mixed together in my mind. It took Mother and me both a long time to see that Dad was right and we were wrong.
After a stint of deep depression Mother finally discovered how to "rest in the Lord" and cease from her striving. She died happy and blessed and trusting in God rather than church attendance. That was a real victory.
I have been interested in the stages of spiritual growth for many years. Even as a kid it was obvious that some members of the church were more mature than others. Looking back I can see that my dad was in the stage of maturity that allowed him to think and act without first asking if it was OK with the other members of the church. He was an independent thinker.
Mother, on the other hand, was chained hand and foot to the opinions of others. Her chronic cry was, "Oh Gary Ray, what will people say?" Her sense of personhood was dependent upon being accepted and approved by others.
Although I did not like Mother's using that line with me I really thought down deep inside that she was more mature than Dad. Mother went to church often, read the Bible a lot and talked with that funny, out of place and time King James English when she prayed.
Dad gently scoffed at her need to get him to seem religious by attending every meeting at the church and going to listen to all the traveling evangelists who came through town. He even had the affront to criticize their chronic attempts to control people with hell fire and brimstone sermons. Dad was big on grace and mercy. He often said, "Gary, don't you believe those guys when they tell you God is going to punish you for every little thing. Jesus took care of all that on the cross. What they say is just their own ideas and misery coming out. It is not biblical."
That made Dad look pretty immature to me because I could not separate religious behavior from spiritual life. They were all mixed together in my mind. It took Mother and me both a long time to see that Dad was right and we were wrong.
After a stint of deep depression Mother finally discovered how to "rest in the Lord" and cease from her striving. She died happy and blessed and trusting in God rather than church attendance. That was a real victory.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Too Busy to Blog
I knew I had been too busy but when it hit me that I had not blogged for several days I knew I was on the verge of a burn out. I have been writing on others' blogs because I do like to respond to what people are saying. I love some dialogue so comments turn me on. Here, I am usually alone so there is no one to dialogue with.
On a internet discussion group the recent buzz has been about R.C. Sproul Jr and his entire elder board being disfellowshipped from their denomination and their ordination removed. That is a severe penalty in our day and age and rare to behold.
Their wrongs were related to lying about the doctrine of child communion. They believe in and practice it. However, they lied to their denomination about it. In addition, the group seems to have practiced a rather brutal style of church authority and harshly removed a family and all the children from their church. The supposed cause was disobedience to the absolute authority of the elders.
But that is not all. The pastor and elders shunned the family and their five young children. If ever there was a case of "corrupted power" I suppose this is it. Thankfully, some of the former members refused to stay silent and reported the incidents to the overseers. You may take a look at the following blog for more information.
http://www.bruisedreed.blogspot.com/
Keep all concerned in your prayers. All of us can be tempted and to fall into sin. If you are involved in an unhealthy or abusive church, leave immediately.
I knew I had been too busy but when it hit me that I had not blogged for several days I knew I was on the verge of a burn out. I have been writing on others' blogs because I do like to respond to what people are saying. I love some dialogue so comments turn me on. Here, I am usually alone so there is no one to dialogue with.
On a internet discussion group the recent buzz has been about R.C. Sproul Jr and his entire elder board being disfellowshipped from their denomination and their ordination removed. That is a severe penalty in our day and age and rare to behold.
Their wrongs were related to lying about the doctrine of child communion. They believe in and practice it. However, they lied to their denomination about it. In addition, the group seems to have practiced a rather brutal style of church authority and harshly removed a family and all the children from their church. The supposed cause was disobedience to the absolute authority of the elders.
But that is not all. The pastor and elders shunned the family and their five young children. If ever there was a case of "corrupted power" I suppose this is it. Thankfully, some of the former members refused to stay silent and reported the incidents to the overseers. You may take a look at the following blog for more information.
http://www.bruisedreed.blogspot.com/
Keep all concerned in your prayers. All of us can be tempted and to fall into sin. If you are involved in an unhealthy or abusive church, leave immediately.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Sex and Health
Udry, J. Richard. "Add Health Study." The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health Carolina Population Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 25 July 2003. 30 Oct. 2003
The study questioned 12 to 18 year-olds and followed up on them six years later.
Sexually Transmitted Disease rates for white youth who pledged to stay virgins until marriage was 2.8 percent compared with 3.5 percent for those who didn't pledge. (A .7% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
Black youth rates were 18.1 % for those who pledged to remain celibate and 20.3 % for those who did not make the pledge. (A 2 .1% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
For Hispanic youth 6.7% of those who pledged and 8.6% for those who did not pledge had STDs. (A 1.9% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
One dramatic difference occurred in the rates of those who had sex. In all, 99% of the non-pledgers and 88 %of pledgers had sex before marriage. A 12% difference makes a difference in pregnancy, emotional loss, depression and rates of poverty.
Virginity pledges also delayed sexual activity and led to fewer partners both of which are positive results.
This shows the power of the pledges by themselves. It also shows that a one-time pledge alone is not enough. Those connected with the abstinence movement would agree.
Commentary
From a psychological point of view, research is clear about the power of a pledge to shape future behavior. Making a promise to do anything, good or bad, tends to promote the behavior promised. Sales personnel know this power and do everything thy can to get us to make a small, very, insignificant promise in order to get us to make larger ones. For example, telephone sales people always ask a simple question just to get you to say “Yes” to it so you will be more like to say “Yes” to their product later.
Therapists use this approach to get people to agree to positive behavior. When a client is suicidal we ask them to sign a pledge not to hurt themselves and to call if they feel like they want to. This has good results and a counselor would be unprofessional if he/she failed to do it.
Second, one pledge may be somewhat effective but not as effective as ongoing support and re-commitment to sexual discipline. Keeping young people engaged in positive support groups is critically important to their mental, emotional and sexual health.
Udry, J. Richard. "Add Health Study." The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health Carolina Population Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 25 July 2003. 30 Oct. 2003
The study questioned 12 to 18 year-olds and followed up on them six years later.
Sexually Transmitted Disease rates for white youth who pledged to stay virgins until marriage was 2.8 percent compared with 3.5 percent for those who didn't pledge. (A .7% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
Black youth rates were 18.1 % for those who pledged to remain celibate and 20.3 % for those who did not make the pledge. (A 2 .1% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
For Hispanic youth 6.7% of those who pledged and 8.6% for those who did not pledge had STDs. (A 1.9% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
One dramatic difference occurred in the rates of those who had sex. In all, 99% of the non-pledgers and 88 %of pledgers had sex before marriage. A 12% difference makes a difference in pregnancy, emotional loss, depression and rates of poverty.
Virginity pledges also delayed sexual activity and led to fewer partners both of which are positive results.
This shows the power of the pledges by themselves. It also shows that a one-time pledge alone is not enough. Those connected with the abstinence movement would agree.
Commentary
From a psychological point of view, research is clear about the power of a pledge to shape future behavior. Making a promise to do anything, good or bad, tends to promote the behavior promised. Sales personnel know this power and do everything thy can to get us to make a small, very, insignificant promise in order to get us to make larger ones. For example, telephone sales people always ask a simple question just to get you to say “Yes” to it so you will be more like to say “Yes” to their product later.
Therapists use this approach to get people to agree to positive behavior. When a client is suicidal we ask them to sign a pledge not to hurt themselves and to call if they feel like they want to. This has good results and a counselor would be unprofessional if he/she failed to do it.
Second, one pledge may be somewhat effective but not as effective as ongoing support and re-commitment to sexual discipline. Keeping young people engaged in positive support groups is critically important to their mental, emotional and sexual health.
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