Still Healing After all These Years

Almost 31 years ago I finished my doctoral dissertation at University of Cincinnati. In it I compared basic relationship skills with the Fruit of the Spirit laid out in Galatians 5:22 ff. Way back then in 1975 I discovered that the key to Helping other people grow was not knowledge or insight or mastery of a technique or intervention. The most important, radical and crucial aspects of influencing others to grow, change and heal are interacting with specific skills and attitudes.

If you want to be a good teacher, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good pastor, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good father, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good mother, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good counselor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good doctor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good lover, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good manager, relate with those skills.

In scripture they are called Fruit of the Holy Spirit and arise from abiding in Jesus. "Love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, kindness, longsuffering."

In human interaction they are called "The Core Conditions of Healthy Relationships" and can be taught to every mentally healthy person.

Genuineness: Knowing self and managing self
Respect: Knowing and honoring others
Empathy: Listening and relating to others non-judgmentally
Warmth: Caring and upbuilding non-verbals.

These are still the key attributes of healthy ministry, healthy families and healthy counseling.