The Irony of Gods Grace

I came sneaking into trusting God instead of my works camp with heels dug in and mind closed. I was reared to think that I was pretty much responsible for my health and welfare as well as that of my friends and family. I lived in a chronic state of anxiety, fearful that I might screw up and miss Gods will. I was later relieved to discover that it is much harder to miss God's will than I had always thought.

I seemed to have concluded as a young man that I could thwart God's plan about anytime I wanted. I could rebelliously choose the wrong woman to marry and produce a bunch of pagans, refuse to witness and send all kinds of people to hell, take a drink of beer and offend people so badly that they lost their salvation, forget to pray and cause a disaster, and; you get the picture. As a result I became sad, depressive, nervous and tried to be SERIOUS about Christianity.

The sermons I heard all pointed toward being very religious because that was the Kind of man God chooses.Then I started to read, really read the Bible. For example, the Christmas story in Matthew stunned me. The genealogy of Jesus was a mess. All those people who fouled up the lineage of the Messiah could and should have kept God from accomplishing His will.

For example, there are four very unusual women in a male line up. How can that be when we know that God only chooses and uses men. I always heard it was special men, holy men, strong men, fighting men who never sinned that God uses.

And, those women were not very pure and holy. Tamar seduced her father-in-law. Yuck! That has to be worse than pornography and we all know that once you pick up a Playboy you are ruined for God's service forever. God wanted you to someday go to Asia as a missionary but now you are damaged goods and He will have to reject you forever. The kind of man or woman God uses God uses is always sexually pure.

Then there is a gal named Rahab. Wow! She was a madam and lived in the red light district of the town. What a loser. What was God doing choosing her to hide the spies and liberate the Holy Land? Then, God wrote it all down and flaunted it in the Bible. Did He not realize what kind of message He was sending to the community? But here she is, listed as one of the ancestors of Jesus, the Messiah of the world.

The third woman may even be worse than these two. The infamous Bathsheba wantonly seduced David who was a real good guy until then. He was solely after God's heart before she came into the picture. Then that devil with a blue dress on-or off- got hold of him and made him fall. Then she made him murder her husband, one of his greatest friends and supporters, Uriah.

If I were to continue to believe those past sermons she could have stopped God dead in His tracks because the Messiah was to be a Son of David.What was I to conclude? Maybe I was wrong and God could accomplish His purposes through fallen, frail, broken, fleshly men and women? All these women were not only serial sinners they were Gentiles. God continually warned the Hebrew children not to get involved with Gentile women yet these women are all non Jewish. Why not mention Sarah, Rebecca and Samuels mother if He wanted to honor Jewish female heroes?

But these women are not even racially pure let alone sexually pure. How could God have allowed those good Hebrew men to get together with Gentiles and pollute the gene pool and spiritual DNA? Surely the Messiah could not arrive out of such a sinful genealogy.

Even in the Christmas story God decided to use an old woman, Elizabeth and her doubting, elderly husband to bring John the Baptist into the Doesn't. Doesnt God not know that old people donÂ?t make very good parents? They are usually out of touch with the contemporary times and have kids that reject them. The boy John The Baptist might end up with ADHD or something worse. As a matter of fact John did develop a confrontational personality and go around telling people to repent.

And how about the old priest, Zechariah? He had been praying for years for a baby but it is obvious why God did not answer his prayers. He had no faith. Anyone tlistenedr listend to Copeland knows that. Our faith must be pure and unwavering to get an answer. He even argued with the angel sent to him. But then God went on anyway and told him to keep trying because he and Elizabeth would produce one even if it required a miracle. But old Zechariah still was a doubter and the Angel had to strike him dumb to teach him a lesson. What kind of inspiration is that for us holy non-doubters?

Then take a look at Mary. She was just a kid. We have a lot of statistics today about the problems of babies having babies. And she was not married. That is not really very good for the Messiahs reputation.

To top it all off, Joseph, not Mary, was the son of David. So the Messiahs Davidic lineage came though his adoptive father not through the bloodline. An adopted Messiah? Adoption was not looked upon with great favor back then. What was God thinking?

What kind of men and women did God choose to bring the Messiah to the world? I was struck by how many weak and irresponsible people God chose to bring the Messiah to earth. A small light began to come on in my head. I now see that my own sinful condition was a tunnel not a cave. It is not a dead end. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope even for me and for sinners like me. There is even hope for you guys!

I am not in charge of God's will. I cannot thwart it at anytime I want. I am somehow part of that humongous plan of His even when I do not know it or know how it works. Gods plan marches on with sovereign surety and hope for the world. God is in charge. My imperfection and sin has already been taken into account and He will certainly accomplish His goal despite my stumbling and failures.

I came to a new conclusion: It is not the KIND OF MAN THAT GOD CHOOSES that is so important but THE KIND OF GOD THAT MAN CHOOSES.

Now I believe in a big God, a sovereign God and a gracious God. When I believed in a small God whose will was only accomplished when I cooperated and went along with Him, it was all about me. Then I got full of pride and self-importance. Unfortunately, that led me to sadness, false guilt, depression and anxiety.

Back then I was consumed with what ifs and if onlys. What if I somehow unknowingly failed to follow through? What if I fail to teach my kids right? Or Forget to evangelize? Or not say Yes to God, etc. I was exhausted. Being in charge of the Messiahs mission is hard work. MY PERFECTIONISM WAS IMPERFECT.

I read books about "Finding God's Will" and anxiously tried to be "In the center of God's will" but that made anxious anxious.Then it hit me. Missing God's will is hard, it may be impossible.

Recognizing that God even uses my weaknesses, my folly, my failures and my fears brings me joy and humility. It may take a few hundred years but the lord of the Universe is also Lord of my life and He will make all things work out according to His will. Now Romans 8 makes sense. All things do work together for good.

God's sovereign plan is like riding in the waters of a huge, white-water river whose force keeps pushing me toward His end goal. I may thrash around and fight the water and pull myself toward one shore or another and think how great and powerful I am to be in control of my swimming. But from God's perspective I am always flowing in the ultimate deternaln of His eteranl plan. I am sure He is trying to say, Just rest in me, Gary. The members of A. A. say it this way: Let go and let God.

I still get have occasional anger that I am so needy and weak. That I still stumble and fall. That God has to rescue me from myself again and again. I am 67 and have been a Christian since age 10. After 57 years I should be holier and better. But I am not.

So, I just try to walk in the Holy Spirit, apply God's truth and set myself aside with God's Spirit so I can love God and fully enjoy Him forever. This, I think, is the basis of FREEDOM.

Sometimes I regress back into works righteousness and get legalistic or words righteousness and get perfectionist about how I speak and the names I give to the Trinity or get back into name it and claim it, blab it and grab it. Then I can once again feel the pride and satisfaction of thinking I am really in charge of the universe. Unfortunately, I just do not have the constitution for it. I wear out too easily. I admire my Grandmother who kept holiness alive for 90 years. Now that woman had a strong constitution. But me, I am weak and have to believe that God is in charge so I can rest in Him.

So, Let the river flow! It is never too late to turn our life over to His care and control.

Ps I Gary R. Sweeten, do hereby resign from being lord of the Universe and hereafter promise to allow God to rule. (At least most of the time.)