Spiritual Growth

I have been interested in the stages of spiritual growth for many years. Even as a kid it was obvious that some members of the church were more mature than others. Looking back I can see that my dad was in the stage of maturity that allowed him to think and act without first asking if it was OK with the other members of the church. He was an independent thinker.

Mother, on the other hand, was chained hand and foot to the opinions of others. Her chronic cry was, "Oh Gary Ray, what will people say?" Her sense of personhood was dependent upon being accepted and approved by others.

Although I did not like Mother's using that line with me I really thought down deep inside that she was more mature than Dad. Mother went to church often, read the Bible a lot and talked with that funny, out of place and time King James English when she prayed.

Dad gently scoffed at her need to get him to seem religious by attending every meeting at the church and going to listen to all the traveling evangelists who came through town. He even had the affront to criticize their chronic attempts to control people with hell fire and brimstone sermons. Dad was big on grace and mercy. He often said, "Gary, don't you believe those guys when they tell you God is going to punish you for every little thing. Jesus took care of all that on the cross. What they say is just their own ideas and misery coming out. It is not biblical."

That made Dad look pretty immature to me because I could not separate religious behavior from spiritual life. They were all mixed together in my mind. It took Mother and me both a long time to see that Dad was right and we were wrong.

After a stint of deep depression Mother finally discovered how to "rest in the Lord" and cease from her striving. She died happy and blessed and trusting in God rather than church attendance. That was a real victory.