Adversity Deprivation Disorder

I almost daily see items in the news that remind me how important it is to correctly interpret research. Scare items fill the "Lifestyle"sections of the local news papers and TV "News Reporters" regularly feature "Experts" on food, exercise, surgery and other health-related items. These experts are often selling a certain product or promoting some specific principle that gets lost in the reporting.

The myths, misrepresentations and incorrect assumptions about psychological and counseling are especially wrong and misunderstood. That should not be surprising for the things that actually work in counseling and therapy are usually inappropriate for common, every day application. For, example, self-esteem.

When counseling someone who has been brutally abused or neglected we obviously look for ways to bring change and healing. We may need to affirm the person and encourage them to believe in themselves and their abilities. This often means that we try to reduce their overactive ability to induce false guilt and feel terrible about making the slightest mistake. That makes sense.

It does not make sense to affirm everyone in the same manner. We must not tell a child child to stop feeling guilty if is he/she is indeed guilty. We need to help children understand that guilt is a good emotion and a sensitive conscience is good. Here we may face the opposite of an overactive conscience and discover a lack of knowledge about right and wrong.

Christian parents, of course, have a definite advantage. We can help children see they are wrong and then teach them how to confess, repent and be forgiven. It may seem like a small thing but that process is actually hugely important.

Never, ever brag about a child's behavior that exaggerates their performance. Always tell the truth to your child. They must learn that the truth will set them free and you need to realize that exaggerations are lies. Consistent lies teach the child to disbelieve you and assume they are horrible people.

The entire Self-esteem industry is based on supposedly reliable psychological research. Much of what passes for promoting good self-esteem is not psychologically true. It is false teaching that has terrible consequences for it attempts to eliminate Adversity from life and that is impossible.

Pain is inevitable.
Misery is optional.
Facing our mistakes and misbehaver teaches us the difference.

Far too many modern kids suffer from A.D.D. Adversity Deprivation Disorder. Make sure they experience disappointments, pain and failures so they will know how to respond with resilience.

What has been your experience?