St Mary’s Church
Haddington, East Lothian, Scotland
Rev Jim Cowie

Writing this letter in early February, I heard on the radio that today (Feb 6th) is the day when most people are absent from work due to illness. This follows the day in January when people felt at their lowest. It’s all put down to short winter days, long nights and summer holidays seeming so far away. Our grandparents might have laughed at the thought that our whole lives could be affected by such annual occurrences which are simply part of the natural cycle they knew so well.

With so much emphasis today put on living every moment to the full, there’s little time to accept a rhythm to life – work and rest, activity and stillness. In Britain we work the longest hours of any workers in Europe. We have the highest rate of binge drinkers (mostly young people at weekend). There is sadly a long list of unattractive and destructive things where we top the international poll such as violence, teenage pregnancy and heart disease. It’s as if we have made a giant treadmill for ourselves from which we can’t escape. We have to keep going, even though it exhausts us and doesn’t seem to get us anywhere.

“What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his very soul?” asked Jesus 2000 years ago. In the endless quest for money, status, party going, living life to the full and to excess, we can legitimately ask the question today – “What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his very soul?”

The greatest lesson we can learn and the greatest truth we can hand on to our children and generations to come, is that individuals are happier; families are stronger; society is more equitable when we pay as much attention to our “souls” as we do to our bodily needs.

Jesus also said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these other things will be yours as well” and “Seek the things that do not rust and cannot be taken from you”.It takes precious time. Sometimes it is hard work. But it’s worth it! Building the foundation of peace and contentment in our hearts that enables us to weather the storms of life. It’s about establishing and building up a relationship with God through Jesus that gives life true meaning and hope.

Resilience is Necessary in Leadership

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction.” - 2 Timothy 4:2

John Wesley's heart was strangely warmed on May 24, 1738 at a religious society on Aldersgate Street in London. The small group leader was reading the introduction to Romans when the Holy Spirit touched Rev Wesley deeply.

He had been a devout Christian for many years and a part of the Holy Club of students at Oxford University. He was an ordained Anglican Priest and the son of a priest and a very spiritual mother.

Soon after being touched by the Spirit, however, he felt a new and strong desire to share his faith. He said, "it pleased God to kindle a fire which I trust shall never be extinguished." Soon afterward John served as an itinerant preacher. Here is a series of diary entries he made over five weeks during the early years of travel.

Sunday, A.M., May 5 Preached in St. Anne's. Was asked not to come back anymore.
Sunday, P.M., May 5 Preached in St. John's. Deacons said "Get out and stay out."
Sunday, A.M., May 12 Preached in St. Jude's. Can't go back there, either.
Sunday, A.M., May 19 Preached in St. Somebody Else's. Deacons called special meeting and said I couldn't return.
Sunday, P.M., May 19 Preached on street. Kicked off street.
Sunday, A.M., May 26 Preached in meadow. Chased out of meadow as bull was turned loose during service.
Sunday, A.M., June 2 Preached out at the edge of town. Kicked off the highway.

Sunday, P.M., June 2 Afternoon, preached in a pasture. Ten thousand people came to hear me.

The epidemic of Adversity Deprivation Disorder keeps many of us from bouncing back and heeding God's call. Right now I am finishing two weeks on a rather strict diet but so far the pounds are stubbornly stuck to my waist. I am discouraged so I need RESILIENCE to go on.

John Wesley needed enormous resilience to go on and he had enough to keep the faith until God brought thousands to hear him preach. Do not give up before the pounds come off or God's chosen come to Him.

hallelujah; Back to Russia

Galina called this morning and we chatted for almost two hours. We are so fortunate to have discovered her when we traveled to Moscow in 1991. When we met She was a struggling young single mother as well as a Psychiatrist who lost her job in the local hospital because she enrolled in a course of study to learn Christian Psychology. Only someone with enormous courage could have survived in medicine as a Christian during the Communist era in any case but when she chose to follow Jesus Christ at the expense of giving up her career in the best hospital in Moscow I saw just how gutsy she is.

At one time Galina was offered a job as director of s Christian Training Center, but she refused to accept. The reason was due to her integrity. In order to continue to receive money from the supporters in the USA Galina would have to "Puff the truth" about how many people were getting saved, healed and helped by the center. She refused to write anything but the facts.

Steve Griebling and I will be able to return to Moscow the last week of May and the first week of June to do an intensive training of her key leaders in Christian counseling skills and theory. Two years ago Steve had to resign to take a job that actually paid him a reasonable salary. He is till working but is willing to give up two weeks vacation to help me and his friends in Russia.

I am very excited about our visit and ask your prayer and financial support. Life Way Ministries sends Galina a monthly stipend so she can live reasonably well and travel extensively to minister to others. However, there is not enough to cover our trips.

Your gifts are a charitable deduction.

Gary Sweeten

The Original Serenity Prayer
Rev Reinhold Niebuhr

God, grant me the serenity to accept
The things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time:

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace:
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it:

Trusting that you will make all things right
If I surrender to your will:

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with you in the next

Be Courageous
Repleace A.D.D. With Faith

St Julian of Norwich lived during the Black Plague, one of the most terrible times in history. Despite losing many friends and family members he did not give up on God. Instead, he cared for others and turned his frustrations into creativity.

One of his poems was sung by the people of that time as an act of faith.

But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well…God said not,

“You shall not be caught in a terrible tempest storm, or that you shall not be travailed or you shall not be diseased,” but he said, “You shall not be overcome.”

Is Christianity Becoming Illegal in America?

'A small Easter display (consisting of marshmellow rabbits and chickens) was removed from the City Hall lobby on Wednesday out of concern that it would offend non-Christians,' the Associated Press reports from St. Paul, Minn...

Well, this certainly makes sense. After all, everyone knows the Easter Bunny is a Christian symbol, which has no place in the public square in St. Paul, a city named after---uh, we've forgotten. Does anyone know where St. Paul got its name?" -- James Taranto

Should San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles and St. Paul be forced to change their names lest some poor, sensitive pagan get offended? We all know that non-Christians cannot stand the slightest Adversity.

Adversity Deprivation National Disordered Awards

From the San Francisco Chronicle

More than 25,000 evangelical Christian youth landed Friday in San Francisco for a two-day rally at AT&T Park against "the virtue terrorism" of popular culture, and they were greeted by an official city condemnation and a clutch of protesters who said their event amounted to a "fascist mega-pep rally." . . .

Assemblyman Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, . . . told counterprotesters at City Hall on Friday that while such fundamentalists may be small in number, "they're loud, they're obnoxious, they're disgusting, and they should get out of San Francisco." . . .

Earlier this week, the Board of Supervisors passed a resolution condemning the "act of provocation" by what it termed an "anti-gay," "anti-choice" organization that aimed to "negatively influence the politics of America's most tolerant and progressive city."

These liberal guys think they have to protect the entire city of San Francisco.

A.D.D. National Awards

The last Post I argued that we are being bombarded daily with false information about how to rear healthy kids and be healthy ourselves. The current craze about such things as bullies, hate speech, elf esteem, shielding people from adversity, etc may be well-intentioned but they are all heading in the wrong direction. We need to help everyone face Adversity and overcome it.

Here are some awards for people who have made notable and ridiculous attempts to protect humans from harmless Adversity.

From the Morning Journal of Lorain, Ohio:

Lorain school officials this week executed an ''emergency removal'' of an 8-year-old boy who they say sexually harassed a girl in gym class.

The boy's mother, Tammy Barth, said yesterday her son was playing in gym on Tuesday when a girl student said he and two other boys may have grabbed her buttocks.

He was then questioned in an informal hearing by school officials and he admitted he had been passing love notes to the same girl.

The second-grader then asked to sign a notice of emergency removal form for sexual harassment without a parent present, Barth said. The boy printed his first name on the portion of the form asking for his signature.

First, Sexual harassment by an eight year old boy?
Second, did she know she had been "sexually harassed" until they told her?

The intervention was undoubtedly harder on all the kids involved than any buttock's grabbing.

Adversity Deprivation Disorder

I almost daily see items in the news that remind me how important it is to correctly interpret research. Scare items fill the "Lifestyle"sections of the local news papers and TV "News Reporters" regularly feature "Experts" on food, exercise, surgery and other health-related items. These experts are often selling a certain product or promoting some specific principle that gets lost in the reporting.

The myths, misrepresentations and incorrect assumptions about psychological and counseling are especially wrong and misunderstood. That should not be surprising for the things that actually work in counseling and therapy are usually inappropriate for common, every day application. For, example, self-esteem.

When counseling someone who has been brutally abused or neglected we obviously look for ways to bring change and healing. We may need to affirm the person and encourage them to believe in themselves and their abilities. This often means that we try to reduce their overactive ability to induce false guilt and feel terrible about making the slightest mistake. That makes sense.

It does not make sense to affirm everyone in the same manner. We must not tell a child child to stop feeling guilty if is he/she is indeed guilty. We need to help children understand that guilt is a good emotion and a sensitive conscience is good. Here we may face the opposite of an overactive conscience and discover a lack of knowledge about right and wrong.

Christian parents, of course, have a definite advantage. We can help children see they are wrong and then teach them how to confess, repent and be forgiven. It may seem like a small thing but that process is actually hugely important.

Never, ever brag about a child's behavior that exaggerates their performance. Always tell the truth to your child. They must learn that the truth will set them free and you need to realize that exaggerations are lies. Consistent lies teach the child to disbelieve you and assume they are horrible people.

The entire Self-esteem industry is based on supposedly reliable psychological research. Much of what passes for promoting good self-esteem is not psychologically true. It is false teaching that has terrible consequences for it attempts to eliminate Adversity from life and that is impossible.

Pain is inevitable.
Misery is optional.
Facing our mistakes and misbehaver teaches us the difference.

Far too many modern kids suffer from A.D.D. Adversity Deprivation Disorder. Make sure they experience disappointments, pain and failures so they will know how to respond with resilience.

What has been your experience?

A Great Parable of Grace

From a Chinese "Daughter" in Singapore to Uncle Gary

The Cracked Pot

A Water Bearer in India had two large pots, each hung
on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other
pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of
water at the end of the long walk from the stream to
the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half
full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the
bearer delivering only one and one half pots of water
in his master’s house.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,
perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor
cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of
what it had been made to do. After two years of what
it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the Water
Bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize
to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you
ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to
deliver only half my load because this crack in
my side causes water to leak out all the way
back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws,
you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get
full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The Water Bearer felt sorry for the old cracked
pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return
to the master’s house, I want you to notice the
beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked
pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful
wild flowers on the side of the path, and this
cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still
felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and
so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that
there were flowers only on your side of your path,
but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I
have always known about your flaw, and I took
advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side
of the path, and every day while we walk back from
the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I
have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate my master’s table. Without you being
just the way you are, he would not have this beauty
to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all
cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord
will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. I
n God’s great economy, nothing goes to waste.

So as we seek ways to minister together, and
as God calls you to tasks He has appointed for
you, don’t be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge
them, and allow Him to take advantage of them,
and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His
pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our
weakness we find His strength, and that "In Him
every one of God’s promises is a Yes."

A Great Parable of Grace

From a Chinese "Daughter" in Singapore to Uncle Gary

The Cracked Pot

A Water Bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole
which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and
while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water
at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily,
with the bearer delivering only one and one half pots of water in his master’s house.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for
which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what
it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter
failure, it spoke to the Water Bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load
because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to
your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work,
and you don’t get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The Water Bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion
he said, "As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the
beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun
warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered
it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out
half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on
your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I
have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted
flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from
the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick
these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being
just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We re all cracked pots. But if we will
allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. In God’s
great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister
together, and as God calls you to tasks He has appointed for you, don’t be
afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of
them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out
boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength, and that "In Him
every one of God’s promises is a Yes."

A Great Parable of Grace

From a Chinese "Daughter" in Singapore to Uncle Gary

The Cracked Pot

A Water Bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole
which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and
while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water
at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily,
with the bearer delivering only one and one half pots of water in his master’s house.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for
which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what
it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter
failure, it spoke to the Water Bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load
because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to
your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work,
and you don’t get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The Water Bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion
he said, "As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the
beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun
warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered
it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out
half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on
your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I
have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted
flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from
the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick
these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being
just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We re all cracked pots. But if we will
allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. In God’s
great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister
together, and as God calls you to tasks He has appointed for you, don’t be
afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of
them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out
boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength, and that "In Him
every one of God’s promises is a Yes."

Nation Building

For the past 15 years I have been involved in the USSR/Russia with Christian people who desperately want to be free. Part of this freedom is to develop a participatory democracy where people can speak openly and vote their consciences. It is a very difficult challenge.

Russia has never lived in such an open society. Few of its larger institutions promoted open discussions among its people so moving now from a brutal and callous dictatorship under the Communist regimes to free and open elections is taking some time. An article in the Wall Street Journal states:

Democracy, to use the old Millian phrase, is "government by discussion," and voting is only one part of a broader picture (an understanding that has, alas, received little recognition in post-intervention Iraq in the attempt to get straight to polling without the development of broad public reasoning and an independent civil society).

There can be no doubt at all that the modern concepts of democracy and of public reasoning have been very deeply influenced by European and American analyses and experiences over the last few centuries (including the contributions of such theorists of democracy as Marquis de Condorcet, Jefferson, Madison and Tocqueville). But to extrapolate backward from these comparatively recent experiences to construct a quintessential and long-run dichotomy between the West and non-West would be deeply misleading.

There is a long history of public reasoning across the world, and while it has gone through ups and downs everywhere, the sharp priority of liberal tolerance that has emerged in the West over the past three centuries reflects how social evolution can strengthen and consolidate one tendency to the exclusion--or near exclusion--of other tendencies. http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110008132

Government by discussion requires local places where open discussions can take place; where people can argue and debate ideas. The Russian people are bright and well educated and they love to argue. Unfortunately, many of them resort to their fists in the midst of a debate because the fine art of political and or religious argumentation was lost under Stalin's boot.

It also requires individuals and families that are intact and sober enough to participate in church, labor and politics. My family had politics and religion for dessert every meal. We boys had to learn how to hold our own among very strong arguments from each other and if we did not hold our own the humiliation was great.

One of the major things we do in Russia is teach Christians how to assert themselves through small groups. They have strong rules about listening, respect and taking turns but they are also urged to present their cases in clear concise arguments. One local leader cried out that I was "mean" because I made them decide for themselves how to organize and lead the ministry.

I am also mean because I insist that sobriety is better than hiding in alcohol. Both are progressing nicely.

For 70 years the government made all decisions for these people but now they must think, hear God and provide for themselves. It is hard work but no other process can build Russia into a friendly, open, democratic nation who will allow God's Spirit to move.

I return to Russia in late May-early June to train leaders from around the country. Keep us in your prayers.

Gary Sweeten

Children in the Lord

I just received a note from a high school classmate, Sue Alice Inskeep Erickson, whose college age son has been suffering from cancer. I have been praying for Sean but he died two weeks ago. I am very saddened to hear it.

Here are some journal entries he wrote before he became ill.

March 1, 2005

Devotional

I have heard Your name and I have seen You from afar.
You have paid the highest price for me.
Now come, and woo my heart.
I have agreed to become Yours.
Now come, and woo my heart.
Let Your love change me.
I want Your love to move me
I need to know You love me even more, even more.
So much more than I do.

March 8, 2005

Song

Is this the fire that I’m feeling? The burning in my heart?
Burning, burning, burning ashes drift away.
Idols, ashes, hopes and dreams drift away.
Drift away glowing in the dark, scattered by the wind.
All my life, it seems, is burning in the dark,
Smoldering ashes still glowing in my heart.

I remember how You met me, in my terror in the night
And touched me in my blindness, and opened up my eyes.
You came to me, You came to me, You came to me.
You have never gone away.
Burn up my idols….ashes drift away.

I will rest in You.
I will trust in You.
I will stay in the fire.
Until you take the fire away.

Sean Erickson

Now, a year later he is with the Lord and his parents are looking for the Resurrection with anticipation. Nothing is sweeter than knowing our kids are in Christ.

DREAMS

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids.."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!". After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.

You have to laugh and find humor every day.

You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change .

Have no regrets. The elderly usuall y don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives... At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

Never too Late to Learn

Back in the 1980's I was teaching at a Presbyterian Renewal Conference in Montreat, North Carolina when a petite lady came up and asked what I thought about her returning to college to get a Master's Degree in Counseling. Should she pursue a degree from a "secular" school or a seminary or a Christian grad school? Before answering I asked her a few questions.

"What led her to be interested in Christian counseling?"
"What were her gifts?"
"How was she ministering now?"
"Why not get a degree?"

That little lady was Bobbie Clemmons and she was full of the Holy Spirit as well as vim and vigor. She was avery actively involved in personal ministry of healing and lay care. Her husband, Elton, was President of an international Men's Movement and traveled to all parts of the known and unknown world to minister to missionaries. Many of these missionaries came to her for prayer and counsel. She knew there was a good graduate program she could attend but maybe she was "Too old".

"Why not sign up right now?" I asked.

She replied, "Do you know how old I will be in the four years it will take for me to graduate?"

I said, "Nope, but how old will you be in four years if you do not go to school?"

Bobbie attended that school and received her master's Degree. She went on to train hundreds of missionaries, pastors and leaders around the world. She established an advanced degree based on the Teleios Model of Ministry at the South Asia Institute for Advanced Christian Studies in Bangalore, India and taught there for 12 years.

She is one of the best counselors I know. PTL! she did not quit.

She got no older as a professional learner than as a wife. We need thousands of bright, dedicated, gifted men and women to keep growing and learning so they can minister in God's Kingdom.

Return from Russia

I wish I could tell you about all the things Arthur and Betty Gasch accomplished during their recent trip to minister in Moscow. The issue of privacy and keeping a low profile makes actual reports a bit dangerous to include to the public. The Russian government definitely runs blog checks to see who is sending money and giving support to non-profits there.

Betty Gasch wrote a great book, Heart to Heart-A Journey to Wholeness several years ago to courageously chronicle her healing from sexual abuse. That book is now translated into Russian and offered to women in recovery. You can get the book from me for $15.00 + mailing by sending an e-mail. All the proceeds go to support the Russian Ministry.

To speak so openly and helpfully about recovery is almost unheard of in Russia. Abuse is common and women are often treated very badly. Betty's book offers real hope and healing for anyone willing to openly ask and then seek the Lord.

Thank God for people such as Arthur and Betty who sacrificed time, energy and money to take the good news about healing to a nation devastated by evil men.

Men at Church? Hardly!

Here are some data from David Murrow's book, Why Men Hate Going to Church.

• The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories.
• On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches.
• This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands.
• Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants.
• The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male).
• As many as 90 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it by their 20th birthday. Many of these boys will never return.
• More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on a given Sunday.
• The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.

Can we do nothing to change these figures?

Prescription for religion

I attend a monthly meeting of pastors, chaplains and researchers at U.C. that are looking at the integration of faith and medical treatment. One of the researchers is Dr. Michael Yi, M.D. He recently published the study below.

Gary

By Jennifer Harper THE WASHINGTON TIMES
March 17, 2006

Religion and spirituality may be the cure for depressed young doctors at the mercy of long hours and trying schedules, according to research funded by the National Institutes of Health and released yesterday by the University of Cincinnati.

Hospital residents -- physicians in training who must put book learning to practical use -- can fall prey to emotional exhaustion, despair and burnout, according to the study, which gauged the mental and spiritual well-being of 227 residents -- all younger than 30 -- in two Cincinnati hospitals. A quarter reported that they were "significantly depressed," a finding that the researchers deemed "disturbingly high." Research in the past two decades revealed that the number of depressed hospital residents was typically about 18 percent.

In addition, the arduous work schedule for residents supposedly had changed for the better recently. "We might have expected that number to fall after the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education implemented work-hour restrictions in 2003," principal investigator Dr. Michael Yi said. The number actually had increased, prompting the research team to look for possible alternative panaceas.

They turned to religion. "Because the psychological well-being of physicians in training may impact patient care, addressing the spiritual needs of residents at greater risk for mood problems may help them cope with the stresses associated with their training," Dr. Yi said.

Spirituality and religion can counter stress and illness by steering residents toward "salutary health-related behaviors, involvement in social networks and establishment of a sense of coherence or meaning to life," according to the study.

It also found that residents struggling with religious values -- questioning their faith or feeling abandoned -- "were more likely to have significant depressive symptoms." The researchers suggested "interventions" to minimize such negative experiences, plus structured programs "to improve spiritual well-being" tailored to individual religious traditions.

The role of religion in medicine has been discussed frequently in the past five years. The Mayo Clinic, Saint Louis University, Brown University and other institutions have reported that prayer and spiritual guidance play a significant role in treating physical and mental illness.

The American Academy of Family Physicians and other groups now encourage doctors to take a spiritual assessment of their patients; 50 U.S. medical schools offer courses on the role of religion and spirituality in health and medicine.

"Engaging the spiritual dimension of health and health care can also help physicians and physicians-to-be maintain balance, better understand their calling and capabilities, and better appreciate their limits and life's work," according to the University of Virginia School of Medicine curriculum description. The school has offered spiritual training for its medical students since 1998.

As a Christian Minister with training in spiritual Formation, Coaching and Counseling I can testify to the wonderful effects of prayer and developing a flowing relationship with God. This is especially true for folks experiencing major job stresses as well as those moving into Mid-Life Transitions.

Most of the people I Coach are over 40 who are experiencing some burn out or frustrations after many successes in life. Getting in touch with God is a great way to get refreshed. Many Pastors and Leaders could sure use a dose of spiritual power after the age of 40.

Boys Love to Explore
This kid would have loved to go with Shakleford to explore the ice caps of the world so why put him in a Sunday school that is dull, passive and boring? It could turn him off forever to the most exciting things in the world: life with Jesus. 

Religion and Risk

Men dislike church because it is not challenging, risky or fun. All around the world males stay away from religious observances in droves. In modern America the feminine spirit has taken over the church and pushing males away even more rapidly.

In a book about the 100 best advertisements in history we see this challenging but very successful recruiting ad from a London newspaper in 1900:

"Men Wanted for Hazardous Journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success--Ernest Shackleton."

The response from would-be polar explorers was overwhelming. By comparison, the U.S. armed forces, with an admittedly mediocre recruiting record, spend hundreds of millions on advertising that promises young men and women a career, an education and a future.

How do we challenge young men to rise to the challenge of Jesus to "Come, die and live"?

We had "Church League Basketball" when I was a teenager. It was not a panacea but it did open religion up to boys that would otherwise have never darkened the door of our little Baptist Church. Some even stayed to hear the Gospel.

Most church activities are passive, gentle, low key, classroom oriented activities. Boys are ranbunctious, hyperactive, physical and interactive learners. What is wrong with this picture?

Why Men Hate Going to Church

I have been concerned about the fact that most church members and especially most attendees are female. I have just discovered a new book by David Murrow with several great insights why this is true and many suggestions how we can reac more men. The title is the title of this post: Why Men Hate Going to Church.

The book is easy to read and filled with interesting research and meaty recommendations for leaders to make necessary changes to attract more men.

Check it out I think you will like it.

Jesus: Son of Man
Why are there more women than men in most churches around the world? Some of the reasons are positive but some make me think we need to "redo" our approach.

Women fear a lack of relationships and men fear a lack of independence. Many church services promote feminine values and reject masculine ways of thinking.

Consider the paintings of Jesus. Most show Him as frail, weak and feminine. This one from Russia shows Jesus as Muscular, strong and yet caring. It has balance. 

What Works in Therapy?

Listening to clients...no, really listening!

Studies show a 65% improvement in outcome

Evidence-based practice is, as you know, "all the rage." Like bell-bottoms and skinny ties, listening to clients in therapy is out of fashion. Treatment manuals and fidelity measures are "in." Most of the push for field-wide adoption of specific treatments for specific disorders comes from the top. Government funders, policy think tanks and professional organizations are promoting evidence-based practice as the cure-all for what ails the field--namely, a continuing lack of respect and lingering perception of mental health as the "soft" of science.


A number of researchers have, over the last decade, been using the client's rating of the therapeutic alliance and progress in treatment as a way of improving retention and outcome in treatment. Interestingly, such research shows that providing therapists with real-time feedback regarding the client's experience of the therapeutic alliance and outcome cuts attrition rates in half and improves outcome by as much as 65%.

By the way, such results were achieved without training therapists in any new treatment procedures or limiting the sample diagnostically. As you know, most randomized clinical trials exclude subjects that do not meet narrow inclusion criteria thereby making the applicability of any study findings to real-world clinical settings exceptionally questionable. Bottom line: therapists were encouraged to listen--especially when what they were doing wasn't working or did not fit for the individual client--and the hoped for improvements in retention and outcome followed.

www.talkingcure.com

Terms Mean Different Things to Each of Us

In 1684 Christopher Wren laid a foundation stone for St. Paul's Cathedral. It took him thirty-five years to complete the task, and when it was done he waited for the reaction of her majesty, Queen Anne. After being carefully shown through the structure, she summed up her feelings for the architecture in three words:

It is awful;
It is amusing;
It is artificial.

Imagine how you would feel if words like these were used to describe the work of your life! But if you read the biography of Sir Christopher Wren you would learn that upon hearing them from his Queen he heaved a sigh of relief and bowed gratefully before his sovereign with thanks.

In 1710 these words had quite different meanings:

awful meant "awe-inspiring,"
amusing meant "amazing," and
artificial meant "artistic."

Awe inspires, energizes, impels, motivates and satisfies while shock drains, drives us away and destroys relationships. St Paul’s Cathedral was designed to be aweful, amusing and artificial. Sir Christopher Wren wanted that house for God to inspire awe, amaze those who entered and show God’s creative, artificial–artistic-nature. St Paul’s cathedral does not shock but it does cause awe.

Glen and I had several opportunities to discuss the current state of theology among many of our friends. It seems to me that many of our battles are over using the same words to mean quite different things. Before we attack others' ideas and approaches to theology we need to make sure we really understand the meanings of their terms.

Long Term Friends are Precious

Being in one place and around the same friends for a long time is a gift that we cannot easily recognize for it happens only to those who are of some advanced age. Although we have been separated geographically from the Francis Family more than we have been near them our friendship has stayed strong.

When the Lord called them to the foreign mission field out of our small group we worked hard to show them support mental, familial and financial to say nothing about spiritual. The challenges seemed large yet we loved them and sent them off to Taiwan with great hope and a lot of faith.

Karen and I agreed to be the god parents for Greg and Dana should anything happen to the parents, Glen and Diana. I suppose that commitment caused us to pray harder for their protection. We were excited to hear about the good things God accomplished through our friends and we heard so many great stories about the ways God worked in that far away land.

A few years ago Karen and I met with the staff of a large church in Taipei. One of the couples there mentioned that Glen and Diana had been their mentors and friends many years before and they owed much to them for all things they learned about small groups, witnessing and prayer. The group at CHPC had come full circle. I thank God for keeping us connected as friends and partners in ministry for over 30 years.

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.

Karen and Diana 

The Blessings of Long Time Friends 

Gregg Francis 

Grandma Francis and Mya Woods

Nothing better than being with the grandkids. 

Jade and Jordan Francis 

Ivy Francis and Dana Francis Woods

The Francis clan is back together for the first time in many years. Missionary work, pastoring and work to provide for family has kept them all busily moving around the world. 

Glen and Gregg 

Friends

Glen and Diana Francis met us in the 70's at College Hill Presbyterian Church. Soon afterward they joined our Base Group and their lives changed dramatically as we prayed and sought God's will.

The Lord called them to the mission field and after school and Missionary Internship they ended up in Taiwan with two young children, Gregg and Dana. God used them powerfully to plant churches and train leaders. 

Betty and a Young Russian

Betty and Arthur Gasch are taking their love and support to our friends in Moscow. This is the son of one of the editors of Betty's book on inner healing.

Art and Betty live in New Jersey and attend Grace Church, the members whom are strongly supporting their trip in prayer. 

A Moscow Recovery Group of Long Standing

Notice the beauty and sensitivity of the setting that are designed to facilitate healing.

The Russian people have a wonderful sense of art and beauty. 

Galina and Betty
Arthur and Betty Gasch are in Moscow visitng Galina and friends. Betty's book about inner healing is now translated into Russian and available to guide women who suffer from the deep wounds of sexual trauma. 

Happiness is???

Are Christians happier than others? If so, why? If not, why not?

A recent survey by the Per research Center suggests that Christians, evangelical Christians specifically, report they are happier than Mainline Believers and non-attenders.

The report is just the most recent survey to report that Christians and frequent church attenders are more satisfied with life.

take a look at the report at: http://pewresearch.org/social/pack.php?PackID=1

After all, we are supposed to possess the "fruit of the Spirit including joy and live an abundant life so I am not surprised at the findings. However, I also see many believers who are unhappy to the point of depression and anxiety so peace, joy and happiness are not universal.

All in all, Christians have a better support system at church and with God than unbelievers. When bad things happen to good people other good people are there to assist and we know that is key to a speedy recovery.

Family Love

Friday evening and Saturday morning I had the privilege of teaching about healthy families to around 35 leaders at the Vineyard Community Church Northwest http://vcnw.org/

Pastor Van and Laurie Cochrane are good friends who attended our seven week course for pastors and leaders on the same topic last year and they wanted to offer the same opportunity to people who minister among them. The people were lively, excited and warm in their participation. If you are looking for a new fellowship, check them out.

One of our exercises was to look at the lives of biblical heroes and see how they managed their families. We focused on Isaac and his wife Rebecca and did a Family Map of their parents and children. As a kid I often heard sermons extolling the "Great men of faith in the Old Testament that God chose because of their greatness" but a close read shows they were "ordinary people with an extraordinary God."

Take a look at Genesis 25 and following to see how they responded to God's promises. They were often overcome by temptations and fears just as we are. But God won the battles anyway.

Loss and Grief

In 1994 and 1995 I experienced a series of losses that almost led to the loss of my life. Thanks to God's interventions I survived and now I thrive because He lifted me up and healed my soul. In 1989 I left my very secure position at College Hill Presbyterian after 16 wonderful years of being loved and supported by my colleagues, the Elders and the congregation.

I had a strong call from God to start a psychiatric hospital and outpatient clinic so we resigned and began a difficult career switch. A few years later I had to leave the ministry I had founded in 1978 to take our training to the world and my mother died during the same period. I was devastated, depressed and desperate. To add insult to injury I suffered a severe heart ailment and had to take a medical leave.

As we drove from the funeral parlor to my home church for the memorial service I experienced a deep pain so severe that I doubted I could stand it. I silently cried out to God and asked for relief from all that loss. At that moment He spoke to my heart and told me to look at the new baby boy Jacob born to my daughter and son-in-law 10 months earlier.

I heard a strong message from the Holy Spirit to look to the future not to the past. The future is in Jacob and children such as he. I knew at that instant that my life of ministry was far from over for the generation of Jacob was in desperate need of older and more experienced Christian leaders. I felt sure I had a legacy in Jacob and his progeny. I was renewed in my soul.

I walked over to the car they were in and took Jacob in my arms and carried him into the service where Mother was ulogized. I held him tightly as the pastor shared about her life of love and Christian compassion. I let her go as I held him in my arms.

Today we celebrated 11 years with Jacob. He was born on my parent's anniversary of March 4 so I will never forget how God provided a replacement for my grief at just the right time.

House Church

Back in 1970 Karen and I were surprised by the Lord when we found ourselves removed from the southern Baptist Church we found after moving here from Illinois. We wanted to hold Bible studies and prayer meetings in homes and that approach so shocked and irritated the Pastor and Deacons that I was faced with charges of heresy and rebellion.

This was one of the most painful and discouraging moments of our lives. Both of us had been reared in Baptist churches so being put out of one was like going through a forced divorce. But God was there and He showed us a new and more exciting way of doing Christian fellowship.

After receiving that "left foot of fellowship" at Dent Baptist we stumbled into the arms and living room of a defrocked Presbyterian Pastor and family. Bob's radical antics with the Holy Spirit irritated his bosses to the point that they gave him the same treatment we received with Baptists. We felt right at home and joined in the activities with gusto.

Our spiritual growth and biblical insights during the three years we ministered exclusively through house churches were wonderful. I was working hard as an Associate Dean of Students at U. C. And at night we ministered to housholds of young men and women who were refugees from sex, drugs and rock and roll to say nothing of rebellion.

We saw God do some miraculous and wonderfully loving works and we experienced first hand what a First Century Church looked like. But the ministry was overwhelmingly difficult because so many of our "flock" were deeply troubled and we were over our heads. As a result I decided to get a doctorate in Counseling.

Now many people are writing about the "new" interest in house churches. Time Magazine has a big article that you can check out. I like the article and the attention. However, it is not a new phenomenon. Check it out.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1167737-1,00.html

Peace is Good and Good for Us

Reuters
Updated: 5:31 p.m. ET March 3, 2006

The manner in which husbands and wives argue over such hot-button topics such as money, in-laws, and children, may be a factor in their risk of developing coronary atherosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries of the heart.

In a study of 150 couples, mostly in their 60s, researchers found that women who behaved in a hostile manner during marital disputes were more likely to have atherosclerosis, especially if their husbands were also hostile.

In men, hostility -- their own or their wives -- was not related to atherosclerosis. However, men who behaved in a dominating or controlling manner -- or whose wives behaved in that way -- were more likely to have clogged coronary arteries.

Social Regression

Anxiety, worry and fears surround us on every side. Leaders in positions who were formerly trusted are so full of nervous energy and are reacting so fearfully to almost every change that hysteria reigns in politics, education, the court system, psychology and religion.

Jesus promised us His peace that surpasses all human understanding but it seems far from many Christian leaders who use their time on radio, TV and news media to pour out more and more stress filled anxiety that we leave a sermon feeling worse that when we arrived. This is tragic because Christianity becomes just one more voice of conflict among hundreds of other nervous Nellies who are shouting so loudly that the cacophony is deafening.

The following story says it all about hos much over reaction is happening among people who need to be rational, reasonable and responsible.

A student at TeWinkle Middle School in Costa Mesa, Calif., started an invidious group on the MySpace.com Web site, the Associated Press reports:

According to three parents of the suspended students, the invitation to join the boy's MySpace group gave no indication of the alleged threat. They said the MySpace social group name's was "I hate (girl's name)" and included an expletive and an anti-Semitic reference.

A later message to group members directed them to a nondescript folder, which included a posting that allegedly asked: "Who here in the (group name) wants to take a shotgun and blast her in the head over a thousand times?"

The AP says that "police are investigating the boy's comments about his classmate as a possible hate crime." The school district is also seeking to expel the boy. That's reasonable enough; it does sound like a genuine threat.

But of course that wasn't enough for school officials, who also suspended 20 students for two days simply because they saw the posting. Assistant superintendent Bob Metz "said the students' suspensions in mid-Febuary [sic] were appropriate because the incident involved student safety"--even though they logged in from home, after school hours.

Anxiety makes us stupid and this group of educators must have an extreme amount of anxiety to over react this stupidly. Because of the media's past hysteria and the ability of lawyers to sue over every small issue principals and teachers expel kids for drawing a gun let alone making a threat.

When will we as a society get tired of this hysteria and begin to think clearly?

We Will OutProduce The Left Wing

Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal

Who's Your Daddy?In the new issue of Foreign Policy magazine, Phillip Longman of the liberal New America Foundation has a fascinating essay on demographics and politics--the gist of which is that differing reproductive patterns are likely to make Western societies, including the U.S., more conservative.

Specifically, those who practice patriarchy--which Longman defines not in the crude feminist sense of men dominating women but as "a particular value system that not only requires men to marry but to marry a woman of proper station"--are outbreeding those who do not:

In the United States, . . . the percentage of women born in the late 1930s who remained childless was near 10 percent. By comparison, nearly 20 percent of women born in the late 1950s are reaching the end of their reproductive lives without having had children. The greatly expanded childless segment of contemporary society, whose members are drawn disproportionately from the feminist and countercultural movements of the 1960s and 70s, will leave no genetic legacy. Nor will their emotional or psychological influence on the next generation compare with that of their parents.

Meanwhile, single-child families are prone to extinction.

A single child replaces one of his or her parents, but not both. Nor do single-child families contribute much to future population. The 17.4 percent of baby boomer women who had only one child account for a mere 7.8 percent of children born in the next generation. By contrast, nearly a quarter of the children of baby boomers descend from the mere 11 percent of baby boomer women who had four or more children.

These circumstances are leading to the emergence of a new society whose members will disproportionately be descended from parents who rejected the social tendencies that once made childlessness and small families the norm. These values include an adherence to traditional, patriarchal religion, and a strong identification with one's own folk or nation.

This dynamic helps explain, for example, the gradual drift of American culture away from secular individualism and toward religious fundamentalism. Among states that voted for President George W. Bush in 2004, fertility rates are 12 percent higher than in states that voted for Sen. John Kerry.

This of course dovetails with the Roe effect, which surely magnifies the political consequences. Support for unrestricted abortion defines the contemporary Democratic Party more than any other issue does, and abortion advocates' open contempt toward those who disagree makes it hard for the latter to be Democrats. Longman draws a lesson from military history after the agricultural revolution:

In more and more places in the world, fast-breeding tribes morphed into nations and empires and swept away any remaining, slow-breeding hunters and gatherers. It mattered that your warriors were fierce and valiant in battle; it mattered more that there were lots of them.
That was the lesson King Pyrrhus learned in the third century B.C., when he marched his Greek armies into the Italian peninsula and tried to take on the Romans.

Pyrrhus initially prevailed at a great battle at Asculum. But it was, as they say, "a Pyrrhic victory," and Pyrrhus could only conclude that "another such victory over the Romans and we are undone." The Romans, who by then were procreating far more rapidly than were the Greeks, kept pouring in reinforcements--"as from a fountain continually flowing out of the city," the Greek historian Plutarch tells us. Hopelessly outnumbered, Pyrrhus went on to lose the war, and Greece, after falling into a long era of population decline, eventually became a looted colony of Rome.

Roe v. Wade thus may turn out to be have been a Pyrrhic victory for supporters of abortion.
Longman also rebuts the Platzer effect, the hypothesis that youthful rebellion, à la the 1960s, will counter the reproductive advantage of cultural conservatives:

The key difference is that during the post-World War II era, nearly all segments of modern societies married and had children. Some had more than others, but the disparity in family size between the religious and the secular was not so large, and childlessness was rare.

Today, by contrast, childlessness is common, and even couples who have children typically have just one. Tomorrow's children, therefore, unlike members of the postwar baby boom generation, will be for the most part descendants of a comparatively narrow and culturally conservative segment of society.

To be sure, some members of the rising generation may reject their parents' values, as always happens. But when they look around for fellow secularists and counterculturalists with whom to make common cause, they will find that most of their would-be fellow travelers were quite literally never born.

Patriarchy does not necessarily sustain itself, Longman acknowledges; both men and women may be put off by the restrictions it imposes on their freedom. Yet freedom--in this context meaning sex divorced from obligation--appears to be self-limiting, at least over a span of generations.

Have Hope and Never Die?

From the Wall Street Journal's electronic daily newsletter blog. OpinionJournal@wsj.com

"Optimism is good for the heart, a study said on Monday," reports Reuters: The most optimistic among a group of 545 Dutch men age 64 to 84 had a roughly 50 percent lower risk of cardiovascular death over 15 years of follow-up, according to the study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.

Previous research has suggested being optimistic boosts overall physical health and lowers the risk of death from all causes."

HOPE: This is one reason why Christians live longer, healthier, happier lives.

It doesn't seem fair, does it? We live better lives while we are here on earth and then we get to live forever with Christ in Heaven after our bodies wear out. Wow! All that and heaven too.

Faith, hope and love remain. I CO 13

Respect From a Teacher

An older classmate from Mt. Vernon Twp High School in Illinois, Bob Wood, Sent me this little story. I hope you enjoy it.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an ex cellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.

But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Who was your most Respectful teacher?

Respect

I am sure many of you remember the great song by Aretha Franklin called, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! During my doctoral studies I discovered that offering Respect and Understanding to a person in need is worth all the knowledge I gained in graduate school about counseling.

It isn't that research about how the mind works and the ways people respond to a stimulus are not important, they are. It is just that any of that technical information is nearly worthless if it is not done with love. (I CO 13)

Many years ago I visited an old friend who was languishing in the hospital with inoperable cancer. As I stood at her door waiting for an opportunity to knock, I could hear her raspy voice barely rising above the air conditioner. She sounded bad.

Yet, when I walked in to her room, and said in a warm voice, "Hello Irene! It is so good to see you," she brightened up and said in a strong voice, "Gary Sweeten, you old dear. You are a sight for sore eyes!"

I respected Irene and indicated my love to her and it made a difference. I had no magic potion or medical answer to her problems but I had the presence of God. I was the Holy Spirit with skin.

The world is desperately in need of God's people who will live with respect and love. We are in a seriously regressing society that is trying to emulate Russia's failed experiments as fast as we can. Our culture needs more love, more respect, more warmth; we do not need increased criticism, increased anger and increased anxiety.

Wherever you work and play try to take the joy of the Lord and spread it around. It is good for you and good for the culture. Try it!

The Loss of our Culture

The Soviet Union's vicious and evil empire was not just a threat to the world it was even a greater threat to its own people. Millions were killed by various purges in order to keep the people in chronic fear.

The pain and evil committed in one generation is passed tsunami-like to future generations. Just think what chaos the murder of 30 to 50 million people has left for Christians to pick up currently. Alcohol, drugs, divorce, abortion, callous behavior, crude family life all exemplify modern Russia. It will likely take many years to bring even small cultural changes.

Unfortunately, the USA seems bent on a path of similar destruction. We have almost no memory about the things that made us healthy, wealthy and wise. We are seeing a rebellious and angry reaction to everything godly, caring and upbuilding.

The only hope is in God and His churches around the USA and Russia. We desperately need healthy families but a family cannot be healthy without a supportive environment in the church.

We need to share the good news and then build a strong, loving community based on God's Word. It is possible and God is on the move in many places.

Keep truckin as the kids said in the Seventies. It means we ought not give up.

Family Around the World

Karen and I are very blessed to have both of our children, Julia Knispel and Timothy Sweeten living in this area with their spice and children. Julia and Dave have Jacob (11) and Lily (3) while Time and Shelley have brand new one year old Jack.

Because we have traveled so much both in the US and around the world God has blessed us with many friends and families. I just received that one of our extended families has produced another offspring. Richard and Bridget Kidd are planting a church near Atlanta and had Baby Jonathan on my grandson Jack's birthday, February 15.

Big brother and sister Matthew and Rachel are two of my favorite people.

Go to http://www.lpchurch.org/kiddrev/page4/page4.html for photos and notes about the Kidd and church families.

Still Healing After all These Years

Almost 31 years ago I finished my doctoral dissertation at University of Cincinnati. In it I compared basic relationship skills with the Fruit of the Spirit laid out in Galatians 5:22 ff. Way back then in 1975 I discovered that the key to Helping other people grow was not knowledge or insight or mastery of a technique or intervention. The most important, radical and crucial aspects of influencing others to grow, change and heal are interacting with specific skills and attitudes.

If you want to be a good teacher, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good pastor, relate with those skills
If you want to be a good father, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good mother, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good counselor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good doctor, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good lover, relate with those skills.
If you want to be a good manager, relate with those skills.

In scripture they are called Fruit of the Holy Spirit and arise from abiding in Jesus. "Love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness, kindness, longsuffering."

In human interaction they are called "The Core Conditions of Healthy Relationships" and can be taught to every mentally healthy person.

Genuineness: Knowing self and managing self
Respect: Knowing and honoring others
Empathy: Listening and relating to others non-judgmentally
Warmth: Caring and upbuilding non-verbals.

These are still the key attributes of healthy ministry, healthy families and healthy counseling.

Spiritual Growth

I have been interested in the stages of spiritual growth for many years. Even as a kid it was obvious that some members of the church were more mature than others. Looking back I can see that my dad was in the stage of maturity that allowed him to think and act without first asking if it was OK with the other members of the church. He was an independent thinker.

Mother, on the other hand, was chained hand and foot to the opinions of others. Her chronic cry was, "Oh Gary Ray, what will people say?" Her sense of personhood was dependent upon being accepted and approved by others.

Although I did not like Mother's using that line with me I really thought down deep inside that she was more mature than Dad. Mother went to church often, read the Bible a lot and talked with that funny, out of place and time King James English when she prayed.

Dad gently scoffed at her need to get him to seem religious by attending every meeting at the church and going to listen to all the traveling evangelists who came through town. He even had the affront to criticize their chronic attempts to control people with hell fire and brimstone sermons. Dad was big on grace and mercy. He often said, "Gary, don't you believe those guys when they tell you God is going to punish you for every little thing. Jesus took care of all that on the cross. What they say is just their own ideas and misery coming out. It is not biblical."

That made Dad look pretty immature to me because I could not separate religious behavior from spiritual life. They were all mixed together in my mind. It took Mother and me both a long time to see that Dad was right and we were wrong.

After a stint of deep depression Mother finally discovered how to "rest in the Lord" and cease from her striving. She died happy and blessed and trusting in God rather than church attendance. That was a real victory.

Too Busy to Blog

I knew I had been too busy but when it hit me that I had not blogged for several days I knew I was on the verge of a burn out. I have been writing on others' blogs because I do like to respond to what people are saying. I love some dialogue so comments turn me on. Here, I am usually alone so there is no one to dialogue with.

On a internet discussion group the recent buzz has been about R.C. Sproul Jr and his entire elder board being disfellowshipped from their denomination and their ordination removed. That is a severe penalty in our day and age and rare to behold.

Their wrongs were related to lying about the doctrine of child communion. They believe in and practice it. However, they lied to their denomination about it. In addition, the group seems to have practiced a rather brutal style of church authority and harshly removed a family and all the children from their church. The supposed cause was disobedience to the absolute authority of the elders.

But that is not all. The pastor and elders shunned the family and their five young children. If ever there was a case of "corrupted power" I suppose this is it. Thankfully, some of the former members refused to stay silent and reported the incidents to the overseers. You may take a look at the following blog for more information.
http://www.bruisedreed.blogspot.com/

Keep all concerned in your prayers. All of us can be tempted and to fall into sin. If you are involved in an unhealthy or abusive church, leave immediately.

Sex and Health

Udry, J. Richard. "Add Health Study." The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health Carolina Population Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 25 July 2003. 30 Oct. 2003

The study questioned 12 to 18 year-olds and followed up on them six years later.
Sexually Transmitted Disease rates for white youth who pledged to stay virgins until marriage was 2.8 percent compared with 3.5 percent for those who didn't pledge. (A .7% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)

Black youth rates were 18.1 % for those who pledged to remain celibate and 20.3 % for those who did not make the pledge. (A 2 .1% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)
For Hispanic youth 6.7% of those who pledged and 8.6% for those who did not pledge had STDs. (A 1.9% reduction in STDs for those who pledged)

One dramatic difference occurred in the rates of those who had sex. In all, 99% of the non-pledgers and 88 %of pledgers had sex before marriage. A 12% difference makes a difference in pregnancy, emotional loss, depression and rates of poverty.

Virginity pledges also delayed sexual activity and led to fewer partners both of which are positive results.

This shows the power of the pledges by themselves. It also shows that a one-time pledge alone is not enough. Those connected with the abstinence movement would agree.

Commentary

From a psychological point of view, research is clear about the power of a pledge to shape future behavior. Making a promise to do anything, good or bad, tends to promote the behavior promised. Sales personnel know this power and do everything thy can to get us to make a small, very, insignificant promise in order to get us to make larger ones. For example, telephone sales people always ask a simple question just to get you to say “Yes” to it so you will be more like to say “Yes” to their product later.

Therapists use this approach to get people to agree to positive behavior. When a client is suicidal we ask them to sign a pledge not to hurt themselves and to call if they feel like they want to. This has good results and a counselor would be unprofessional if he/she failed to do it.

Second, one pledge may be somewhat effective but not as effective as ongoing support and re-commitment to sexual discipline. Keeping young people engaged in positive support groups is critically important to their mental, emotional and sexual health.