The Key to A Happy Family

When we all gather for Thanksgiving and Christmas it is hard to get a word in sideways for some people. Many families interrupt each other and emotionally react to the slightest differences in opinion. Because of the potential conflict there are numerous families that either refuse to get together or do so on a limited basis.

Doctor Gary, how do we solve that problem?

1. Prepare to go home with prayer and a commitment to yourself to stay calm.
2. Think about the role each of you plays and make sure you stop YOUR part of the dance.
3. Respect each person's point of view and refuse to argue.
4. Honor your entire family regardless what they say or do.
5. Have fun.

Please Just Listen to Me

Ray Houghton, M.D.
Teen Times, Nov/Dec 1979

please, just listen
when I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked
when I ask you to listen and you begin to tell me
why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings
when I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do
something to solve my problems,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem
listen! All I ask you to do is listen
not talk, or do…just hear
advice is cheap; twenty five cents will get you both
dear abby and billy graham in the same newspaper
and I can do that myself. I’m not helpless
maybe discouraged and faltering but no helpless
when you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy
but when you accept, as a simple fact, that I do feel
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to
convince you and get back about the business of
understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling
and when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t
need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we
understand what’s behind them
please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk wait
a minute for your turn and I’ll listen to you

Ps Feel free to send this on to your family before you go home. Addd a note that says: "I promise that I will try to listen to you."