Society's Regression into Chaos

Most commentators would agree that our American society is moving in the wrong way. Additionally, they don't know what to do about it. The book in the next post by Dr. Roberta Gilbert is one I recommend to help parents, grandparents and thought leaders to help show us ways of developing healthy relationships with our own families and doing what we can to influence the church and community.

One of the most damaging influences on us individually and corporately has been the degrading and negative influence of a few major theories of psychology. There are several psychological theories that have a positive influence on us but they are in the minority of influence right now.

Theories That Have Led to Chaos

1. The individual's ideals and feelings are of supreme importance Individualism has led the professional counseling field to separate family members and keep segregated from each other. Biblically and traditionally the family unit is the source of most health and the best way to bring wholeness is through strengthening the entire family from generation to generation.

2. A focus on Pathology rather than strengths is the key to health The medical model of diagnosing and treating mental "illnesses" has been disastrous. We need to affirm the good points of parenting and the strengths of the family.

3. The emphasis on feelings not facts, thoughts and principles. In most of my books and classes we teach people how to separate "feelings" from "thinking" and we often find students have difficulty doing so. A simple experiment shows how our society is swimming in a lake of emotions at the expense of thoughts.

Ask yourself which is correct: "I feel my wife is attractive" or "I think my wife is attractive".
Most people use the term "feel" when they really mean "think." Feelings are affective words such as mad, sad, glad, shame, guilt, etc. Thoughts, on the other hand, are ideas, beliefs and concepts from which emotions arise.

Perhaps the most important task of schools, churches and parents is to teach people to think and not be driven by feelings. Politicians have really let us down here, especially when it comes to matters of Political Correctness. The prevailing view is something like this. "If a person "FEELS' discriminated against they have been treated badly. This is wrong legally, practically and psychologically.

4. The Pleasure Principle is also destructive When we live in a feeling world we are extremely susceptible to every event in life and we tend to elevate Pleasure above growth, maturity or health. The purpose of Delayed Gratification is to teach us to be disciplined and to develop patience, simplicity of life and resilience. In fact, Adversity, Pain, Frustration, boredom and other unpleasant feelings can be very good for all of us.

5. Permissive Child Rearing Practices are Destructive To worry anxiously about pleasing our kids leads us to allow them to pursue Pleasant Feelings at the expense of developing resilience, Kindness, Patience and Maturity. It can tell people that alcohol, drugs, sex, stealing, lying and laziness are acceptable because they may feel good for right now.

Many parents want to be best buddies with their kids instead of parents. Some let the kids rule the roost. Others are afraid they will "Damage their child's self-esteem" if they are unhappy. Still others worry excessively about protecting their children and fail to teach them self-responsibility.

Beadult parents and set up a set of good expectations. Teach theough experience. make sure the kids do chores and do some work. Have fun, play games, go on hikes. Have times with the extended family and make sure you honor your own parents.