How People Change

Most of you know that I have been training pastors and lay leaders for many years and have written several books about the skills of Influence. About the most common question I get at seminars is this: "How do I motivate the un-motivated to be motivated?"

Before getting to the answer, allow me to tell you about the seven stages of change that every person goes through whenever they change a behavior or mindset.

Stage I: Pre-Conviction: I am not convinced or convicted that I have a problem that needs my attention. You may think I have a problem and everyone in town may agree with you but I do not see that I need to change. (Motivate with prayer and listening love. Lectures about my need to change will usually backfire and make it harder to motivate me.)

Stage II: Conviction: I am thinking I may have a problem and will think about it some day when I have more time or energy. (Motivational prayer is working. Keep it up.)

Stage III: Considering Change: This is a key stage because I am counting the cost of making a change. I am in serious dialogue with myself. (Motivate by asking the right questions and prayer. It is working.)

Change can take a long time and test our patience. Do not grow weary in doing good things like prayer.